postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
White Fragility: having a low threshold for high-decible music about 'hos
We don't need to defund the police, we need to de-criminalize any police action necessary for keeping public order
1 + 1 = 3 How's that for non-racist, non-patriarchal math, you twat?
Are we going too fast for mouth-breathing liberals?
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's
The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠
Your Daily Horoscope
Because you are highly possessive, adore your own company, and are inclined to mate for life, you begin a campaign to have self-sex marriages legalized. Your slogan, "Be part of the problem and
part of the solution," is too clever by half, and your campaign comes to grief when you are caught making an unauthorized deposit at a sperm bank. More Horoscopes
You Can't Photoshop This
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says, "You can't photoshop this."
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate
. Visit The Grammar Prick
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
1. Organized Religion
3. Seat Belts
4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
One-Hit Wonders Quiz
Where would the music industry, popular culture, or the fate of the universe itself be without the one-hit wonder (OHW)—pop music's most prodigious benefactor, the artist who keeps on giving even after he or she or they or it is no longer selling and is setting the GPS for Branson. Yet there is power in the relevance of the irrelevant, my fellow babies, and much to be admired in those who dared to be forgotten. In their honor we present this quiz. (Trigger warning: there are wrong answers, lots of them, just like in real life, watch your ass.)
Read on ...
Sep 28, 2020 - 6:30
Van Morrison Not Dead, Still an Asshat
That disgusting, fat-shit troll Van Morrison, all 5'5" of him in his high-heeled boots, is the Asshat of the Week for September 27. At one time a snot-flinging, curb-biting drunk, Morrison is still such a cunt that he won't allow people to drink at his "concerts" now that he doesn't. That is not why he's this week's asshat, however.
Read on ...
Sep 25, 2020 - 7:00
Save the Post Office, Take This Quiz or Else
The United States Postal Service (USPS) could go tits up, Skippy, if Congress doesn't provide it with mail sacks full of cash—"$25 billion in direct funding," according to the "Political Charge" website. That's the depth of the shit hole from which the USPS needs to be rescued before letter carriers start covering their knobby knees with long pants soon.
Read on ...
Sep 24, 2020 - 5:46
WCU Holds George Floyd Conversation about Race
West Chester University (WCU) will host the first annual George "Say His Name" Floyd Conversation About Race this Saturday, September 26, from 11 a.m. until 2 p.m. The Zoom discussion will feature five topics: bystander intervention, cultural appropriation, implicit bias, race and dating relations in the workforce, and white supremacy/fragility.
Read on ...
Sep 23, 2020 - 3:52
Is Obesity Weighing Down the Human Soul?
The results of a study published in the November issue of Applied Psychological Measurement suggest that the obesity epidemic popping seams and buttons all over the United States is having a quantifiable impact on the human soul. The study, conducted by researchers at the Johns Hopkins University School of Social Psychometrics, was designed to replicate a century-old study that had reported the weight of the human soul as 21 grams.
Read on ...
Sep 20, 2020 - 4:55
It's the THC, Stupid
The average American pick-up truck has gained 1,142 pounds since 1990. The average American, about the same. The average Phish tune, in concert, added nearly two minutes around its middle, and personal pizzas got 25 percent larger. Go big or go home: The 11th Commandment writ large.
Read on ...
Sep 16, 2020 - 5:38
Math, Gravity, and Speed Limits Reek of White Supremacy
Brooklyn College Professor of Math Education Laurie Rubel proclaimed recently on Twitter that the equation 2+2=4 “reeks of white supremacist patriarchy. The idea that math (or data) is culturally neutral or in any way objective is a MYTH.”
Read on ...
Sep 11, 2020 - 5:55
© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass
has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story
from time to time.
The Pug Bus Blogs On
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more
The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
Rhetorical questions and a lot of rhetorical answers, too. Take home, no time limit, grade your own. More
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards
is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.
High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?
Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."
Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.