Your Seldom Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
 Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
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The Grammar Prick
 Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
 The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters: 1 2
Free the Music
 Strike a blow for freedom.
Download music today.
You can't beat the price.
Get the skinny at Zeropaid.
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Dwayne Wade Identified as Robbery Suspect in Miami Heat's Hoodie Photo
PHILADELPHIA -- A Korean grocery store owner has identified Dwayne Wade as the person who robbed him at gun point in early February. Woo-jin Park, 57, said he recognized Mr. Wade, 30, in a picture of the Miami Heat basketball team that was published on the internet via Twitter last week.
More.
Mar 29, 2012, 09:45
Romney Refutes Santorum's Stool Sample Claim
CONCORD, N.H. - The shit hit the fan yesterday morning when Republican presidential hopefuls met for a debate on Meet the Press. Toward the end of the debate Rick Santorum dropped a bombshell when he announced that he was planning to bring the Marian Stool on tour as a means of energizing his base and demonstrating God's preference for his candidacy.
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Jan 9, 2012, 11:37
Tim Tebow Denounced by Opponents of Interracial Marriage
LOUISVILLE, Ky. - A firestorm erupted when the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church in rural Kentucky voted to ban mixed-race couples from joining its congregation. Following this vote, numerous members of the National Association of Freewill Baptist Churches (NAFBC) threw feul on the flames by publishing racially incriminating photographs of the notorious Christian quarterback Tim Tebow.
More.
Jan 2, 2012, 12:24
How NBA Players Economized During the Lockout
MIAMI - NBA players will finally report to training camps tomorrow to prepare for the 2011-2012 season, which begins December 25 this year, nearly two months later than usual.
More.
Dec 8, 2011, 13:13
The Grammar Prick Sticks It to Alanis Morissette
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - When President Obama said that America had been "lazy" for the past few decades, he was talking about our national language scandal. Americans, the president said, are too lazy to search for the home run utterance; they settle instead for a cheap single up the middle; and that, boys and girls, is why the word ironic has been bastardized beyond recognition.
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Nov 30, 2011, 10:04
Joe Paterno Diagnosed with Cancer, Penn State Students Riot
STATE COLLEGE, Penna, - When students learned that former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno had been diagnosed with lung cancer, they took to the streets by the thousands last night, clashing with police and overturning at least one medical vehicle.
More.
Nov 19, 2011, 07:50
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© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.
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or it will follow you home.
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die
1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.
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