postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
 

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.” Margaret Thatcher
People who claim that meat should be used as a condiment ought to be reminded that vegetables work best as garnishes.
According to Consumer Reports, the Vizio M-Series Quantum 55-inch TV is rated "best" by rioters in Portlandia, who give it high fives for portability (only 35.6 lbs) as well as a generous $659 discount at all participating and non-participating stores
From hair plugs to butt plugs, the political "awakening" of J. Robinette Biden
The Ultimate White Privilege: Only white people can forgive other white people for their racism
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday


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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Postmodern Horoscopes
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Presenting the astrological world's only postmodern horoscope . . . the one grand narrative you can believe in . . . guaranteed to deconstruct your future before it happens. Click, poke, tap, or finger here, Jacques.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Apologizing for Anything
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Dick Clark Nielsen Ratings Shaky
Jan 2, 2006 - 7:35
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NEW YORK - About the time Dick Clark announced there was a "dirigible sea" of Mariah Carey fans "fwudink Dimes Gware," television viewers began switching from ABC's Rockin' New Year's Eve coverage to other networks' shows.

According to Neilsen's overnight ratings, viewers gave ABC an 8 percent rating and a 15 percent share during the 11:00 to 11:30 segment of its Rockin' New Year's Eve broadcast; but ABC dropped the ball following Clark's appearance during the 11:30 to midnight segment, managing only a 5.5 percent rating and a 10 percent share. The one exception to ABC's across-the-board collapse was the cohort of viewers who were watching television with the sound turned off. In those households Clark's appearance actually boosted ratings.

Although most reviewers praised Clark's "valiant" performance—he had suffered a king-hell stroke a year ago—the Washington Post sounded a contrary note: "Viewers who tuned in ABC's coverage of the annual New Year's Eve ceremony from Times Square on Saturday may well have been hoping the famous giant ball was the only thing that would drop before the night was over."

Describing Clark, 76, as "the couchbound relative who, maudlin and exhausted, weeps at how lucky he is to be around his family one more year," The Post further observed that Clark's appearance was "a gesture likely to strike some observers as courageous and others as morbid."

Morbid appears to have carried the night as far as television viewers were concerned.

"What was ABC thinking?" asked Ed "Topper" Carrington, a commodities broker from Gladwyne, Pennsylvania. "Clark sounded at times as if he was channeling Foster Brooks—or Sean Penn in I Am Sam."

Jeff Franks, a carpet installer from Anniston, Alabama, complained, "I couldn't hardly understand half of what he said, and that half didn't make no sense. They should have used subtitles like they do in them foreign movies. My kids finally made me switch channels because [Clark] was creeping them out."

Clark's performance was praised, however, by the influential American Association for Retired Persons (AARP).

"Dick Clark proved that age and debility are not impediments to brave senior citizens determined to hold on to their positions of influence," said Morris Charles, AARP's outreach coordinator. "Dick is welcome to speak to our constituents any time. The ones who could hear him would have no trouble understanding him."

"Clark's return to 'Rockin' Eve' was promoted as if he were going to make his entrance aboard a chariot of fire, or perhaps balancing the legendary 1,070-pound crystal ball on his head," wrote The Washington Post; but as midnight drew nearer, the only viewers who stayed tuned to ABC were those drawn by a "sick curiosity," as one viewer put it, "to see if could get through the countdown without an interpreter."

Their patience was rewarded when Clark began counting, "Den, dine, nate, sebben . . . done. Happy Nude Dear."



Next Oprah: High Fashion for Stroke Victims


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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it




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