Through a rare but infrequent case of cross-mutation, your zip code and DNA will be transformed, and you will be seized with an overwhelming urge to open fire on your coworkers. By wetting your finger and pressing it onto an electric socket, you can transfer the effects of that mutation into an urge to dress like Lady GaGa.
Hackers Who Trashed RIAA Website Get Karma Windfall
Jan 23, 2008, 10:14
Sri Edward Boghaven and his patented Kodak Seeing-Eye Kamera.
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The hackers who roughed up the RIAA’s website last weekend—removing virtually all its self-serving, dime-on-your-neighbor content—will enjoy a significant karmic windfall, said Sri Edward Boghaven, author of Instant Karma: How to Appear Worthy Even When You're Being a Total Dick.
“Choosing these worthy recipients was easier than falling asleep during meditation,” giggled Sri Boghaven, president of the Allied Karma Consortium (AKC).
“Those dickheads at the RIAA have been cruising for a bruising, and they finally got one,” said the AKC's Boghaven. “Let’s hope it isn’t the last.”
The hackers suspected of leading the charge against the RIAA are three teenagers living in Amsterdam who call themselves The Budding Source. According to Sri Boghaven, the karmic consequences of hassling grandmother-suing, baby-eating, sheep-shagging evildoers like the RIAA "cover a multitude of 'My Bads.'
“The karmic windfall that results from yanking down the RIAA’s pants can be applied to past transgressions—in this life or a previous existence,” said Boghaven.
“With the possible exceptions of incest or bestiality or implying that Clay Aiken is gay, the scholars who took down the RIAA will be able to use their karmic windfall to buy their way out of a lot of nickel-and-dime shit.”
Through a rare but infrequent case of cross-mutation, your zip code and DNA will be transformed, and you will be seized with an overwhelming urge to open fire on your coworkers. By wetting your finger and pressing it onto an electric socket, you can transfer the effects of that mutation into an urge to dress like Lady GaGa.
