Postcards from the Pug Bus                

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
The chief obstacle to understanding the human brain is the human brain
"The peace and order of society is of more importance than even the relief of the miserable." Adam Smith
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our fearless editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the festering evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; his hatred of soccer moms; and a whole lot more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Britney Spears Board Game Hits Stores Tuesday
        Feb 25, 2007 - 1:21
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NEW YORK - The adventures of Britney Spears have inspired a new board game called Britopoly. Created by Parker Brothers, Britopoly is designed for four players, but as many as eight can play if the additional players slept in a bed with at least two of their siblings until the age of fourteen.

Britopoly comes packaged in an attractive, reusable, pink-and-black tote bag that contains the collectible velveteen game board, a pair of pink dice with black spots, and eight player icons. The icons are solid tin representa-
tions of food items— a slice of pepperoni pizza, a Snickers bar, a can of Red Bull, a Doritos bag, etc.

The object of Britopoly is to complete two turns around the velveteen game board while landing on as few Oops! squares as possible. Oops! squares represent the many pitfalls in Ms. Spears' life: her fifty-five-hour first marriage, her union with Kevin Federline, her ill-advised child births, her dreadful reality show, driving with a baby on her lap, dropping a baby at home, nearly dropping a baby in public, breaking down on the Today show, doing her own makeup for the Today show, kicking Kevin Federline to the curb via text message, getting photographed exiting Paris Hilton's limousine with no panties, checking into rehab, checking out of rehab, shaving her head, checking into rehab again, checking out of rehab again, and attacking an innocent car with an umbrella.

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Each player starts Britopoly with $80 million in Britney money. The first time a player lands on an Oops! square, that player must forfeit $1 mllion. Each subsequent time a player lands on an Oops! square, the amount forfeited by that player increases by $500,000. The winner is the person with the most money left after every player has circled the board twice.

In case of tie, the players who are tied roll the dice once. The winner is the player with the highest score. In case of a second tie, the players roll the dice again (and again if necessary) until the final tie is broken.

Britopoly will be available starting Tuesday wherever fine board games are sold.

In related news, according to a spokesperson from Parker Brothers, all proceeds from the sales of Britopoly will be donated to the Spay Britney Spears Foundation.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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