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Harry Potter Star Emma Watson Envies Britney Spears' Success Mar 19, 2007 - 8:29
"Doesn't this hat make me look cool?"
LONDON - Emma Watson doesn't want to be known as "that girl from Harry Potter" any more. The sixteen-year-old actress, who plays Harry's brainiac schoolmate Hermione Granger, has flipped the bird to Warner Bros., refusing to extend her indentured servitude by appearing in films six and seven of the never ending Potter series.
When a pair of tasseled loafers from the studio offered to double her salary to $2 million, she turned the other cheeky in a brief text message, "Sod off, clown."
A source at Warner Bros. said the studio was willing to go $2.25 million and a Toyota RAV4, "but not a penny higher."
Friends of Ms. Watson say her refusal to play the virginal Hermione isn't about money. It's about a desire to grow up.
"Her role models have changed," said Charlotte Temple-West, a close friend of Ms. Watson's from the Headington School. "Emma used to idolize Gwyneth Paltrow, but all she ever talks about now are Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan."
Other friends report that Ms. Watson has started drinking beer and strawberry wine coolers and saying things like bloody and fuckin' 'ell and other expressions Hermione would never use.
"Emma's tired of being the good girl," said Ms. Temple-West. "She was disappointed when she read the script for Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince and there weren't any sex scenes between her and Ron in it."
"Whoa, two sips and already I feel shitfaced."
THEM Weekly tracked Emma Watson down by cell phone at a London club last weekend. Shouting to make herself heard above the Scissor Sisters' latest single, "She's My Man," Ms. Watson confirmed that she wanted to pattern her career after Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.
"I'll be seventeen next month, and I'm still a virgin," she yelled in a dreadful imitation of a Cockney accent. "It's bloody embarrassing. Fuckin' 'ell. I'm dyin' for a shag, but guys are either intimidated by me, or they have their defenses up, or else they like to take the piss out of me for playin' a stuck up who wouldn't say cock if she had a mouthful. I'm bloody sick of it."
Asked how she planned to celebrate her birthday, Ms. Watson shouted, "With a boob job, a randy good shag, and some killer blow. You doin' anythin' April 15, mate?"
When THEM Weekly reminded Ms. Watson that seventeen, no matter how willing, was still underage in some countries, she yelled, "Well piss off then. I'm gonna have a slash and take me knickers off and dance on the bar."
In other news, oh balls, there is no other news, unless you consider Britney Spears wetting the bed again news.
Postcards from the Pug Bus is happy to endorse Bob Whitaker, the presidential nominee of the American Freedom Party.
Our decision was prompted in part by the fuss over the Oscars being too white, the fuss over Peyton Manning being too white, and the fuss over Cam Newton, who is too black. We hold no brief against single-issue politics or race-based advocacy groups or television awards. We simply want to make sure our team isn't sucking hind titty at the public trough. As always, it's "root, hog, or die."