title of web site: postcards from the pug bus
 
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   Blog   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball

Search Caitlyn
The World's First
Transgender Search Engine

Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
Your sex life is a shareware program about to expire. One-size-fits-all gloves don't come in your size. If dreams took human form, yours would be wearing toe tags. The planets, the traffic lights, even the local Girl Scout troop will line up against you. Have you insulted one of the mothers of the gods recently or what?

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed ona roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.

image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Harry Potter Star Emma Watson Envies Britney Spears' Success
Mar 19, 2007 - 8:29
an image
"Doesn't this hat
make me look cool?"
LONDON - Emma Watson doesn't want to be known as "that girl from Harry Potter" any more. The sixteen-year-old actress, who plays Harry's brainiac schoolmate Hermione Granger, has flipped the bird to Warner Bros., refusing to extend her indentured servitude by appearing in films six and seven of the never ending Potter series.

When a pair of tasseled loafers from the studio offered to double her salary to $2 million, she turned the other cheeky in a brief text message, "Sod off, clown."

A source at Warner Bros. said the studio was willing to go $2.25 million and a Toyota RAV4, "but not a penny higher."

Friends of Ms. Watson say her refusal to play the virginal Hermione isn't about money. It's about a desire to grow up.

"Her role models have changed," said Charlotte Temple-West, a close friend of Ms. Watson's from the Headington School. "Emma used to idolize Gwyneth Paltrow, but all she ever talks about now are Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan."

Other friends report that Ms. Watson has started drinking beer and strawberry wine coolers and saying things like bloody and fuckin' 'ell and other expressions Hermione would never use.

"Emma's tired of being the good girl," said Ms. Temple-West. "She was disappointed when she read the script for Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince and there weren't any sex scenes between her and Ron in it."

an image
"Whoa, two sips and already
I feel shitfaced."
THEM Weekly tracked Emma Watson down by cell phone at a London club last weekend. Shouting to make herself heard above the Scissor Sisters' latest single, "She's My Man," Ms. Watson confirmed that she wanted to pattern her career after Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

"I'll be seventeen next month, and I'm still a virgin," she yelled in a dreadful imitation of a Cockney accent. "It's bloody embarrassing. Fuckin' 'ell. I'm dyin' for a shag, but guys are either intimidated by me, or they have their defenses up, or else they like to take the piss out of me for playin' a stuck up who wouldn't say cock if she had a mouthful. I'm bloody sick of it."

Asked how she planned to celebrate her birthday, Ms. Watson shouted, "With a boob job, a randy good shag, and some killer blow. You doin' anythin' April 15, mate?"

When THEM Weekly reminded Ms. Watson that seventeen, no matter how willing, was still underage in some countries, she yelled, "Well piss off then. I'm gonna have a slash and take me knickers off and dance on the bar."

In other news, oh balls, there is no other news, unless you consider Britney Spears wetting the bed again news.


More Articles by This Author

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


Follow the Pug Bus on Twitter
or we'll follow your ass home.

Contact Us or Else
image of a beat up, rusty old mailboxHey, Skippy. Here's your big chance. Let us know what you think or if you think. You know you want to. Go ahead. We dare you. We might even print your stinking letter. Send email to Pug Bus Editor

Back by Unpopular Demand
Read any three articles, get the fourth one free!
NFL to Install 200 Gender-Appropriate Bathrooms for Super Bowl LI
Windows 10 Officially Labeled Malware by NCSA
Taylor Swift Opens Anal Bleaching Salons
Pippa Middleton's Ass Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

There's a Saint for That
image of a saint, name unknownThere's a saint for that, whatever "that" might be. Just click where it hurts you to find out which board-certified saint to call. Breast Implants, burn marks from the grill,, hemorrhoids, and more.

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolShit happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.