Chelsea Clinton Denies Posing for Mysterious Sculpture
Mar 20, 2008, 12:07
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Former first child Chelsea Clinton denies she was the inspiration for a mysterious sculpture that appeared recently at the compound of Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania’s leading satire website.
“I’m a huge fan of the Pug Bus, but I haven’t seen [the sculpture] yet—much less posed for it,” said Ms. Clinton, 28, who was pimping for her mother outside Fennario, a West Chester coffeehouse much favored by Goth kids and slaphead university professors with sad gray ponytails.
Astonished local residents who have seen the sculpture on the 1.2-acre Pug Bus compound near the West Chester University campus were gobsmacked over its appearance.
“It looks like an Afghan hound in heat,” said Jon Timmons, a kinesiology and home economics major, "or maybe a Tennessee walking horse with a stick up its ass."
“It’s a dead ringer for Chelsea Clinton—only better looking because a horse face always looks better on a horse,” said another observer wearing an Obama button who asked not to be identified.
Phil Maggitti, editor in briefs of Postcards from the Pug Bus, held a brief press conference in front of the horse yesterday.
“At first we thought the sumbitch had escaped from Burning Man," laughed Mr. Maggitti. "Then we figured some goddamn elementary school class had sneaked onto the compound Sunday night and put up another fucking memorial to Barbaro. They're all over this area, and before you can say "who gives a shit already," it will be derby time again.”
Mr. Maggitti said he had no plans to remove the sculpture, though he would entertain offers for it.
"If somebody's looking to trade his kingdom for a horse, we've got just the thing for him."
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