Scarlett Johansson Licks Angelina Jolie in Sexiest Woman Voting
Mar 28, 2006, 09:19
Scarlett Johansson
NEW YORK - Scarlett Johansson unhorsed Angelina Jolie as the sexiest woman in the world in a recent poll conducted by FHM magazine. The pillowy-lipped Ms. Johansson, ninth in last year's voting, muscled her way to the top, finishing ahead of Ms. Jolie, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, and Keira Knightly in this year's poll.
"This proves that lips are the new cleavage," said FHM's interactive editor, Harry Groughton. "Each of our top five ladies has large, sensuous lips that look as if they're fully capable of bearing children."
"On behalf of my lips and myself I want to thank FHM's readers for this honor," said Ms. Johansson in a prepared statement.
Angelina Jolie
Ms. Jolie was unavailable for comment. According to her publicist, Ms. Jolie was doing her lip exercises, which consist of picking up ping pong balls and spitting them into a bucket ten feet away.
The appeal of large-lipped women is not surprising, because the lips function primarily as a sexual signaling device, said Meredith Lorenzo, Ph.D., director of sexual-signaling research at New York University.
"A signaling device is a visible part of the anatomy that suggests another part of the anatomy that social correctness requires us to keep covered," said Dr. Lorenzo.
Jessica Alba
"Desmond Morris advanced this theory in his book The Naked Ape," Dr. Lorenzo continued. "If he was correct—and you can test his theory by picking up your computer monitor and holding it vertically—it would go a long way toward explaining why Ms. Johansson, Ms. Jolie, et al, are considered sexy. It would also explain why vivid red and shocking pink are popular lip gloss colors.
FHM readers, though less scholarly in their expression, seemed to concur with this theory.
Jessica Simpson
"Angelina's lips are played out," said Brett Dickson. "They aren't tight like Scarlett's, and after Angelina has a baby, forget about it, her lips will be ruined. She won't even be able to whistle."
Ralph Niedermeyer, a fan of Ms. Jolie, disagreed.
Keira Knightly
"Scarlett's lips look as though she stuck her mouth into a hornet's nest," said Mr. Neidermeyer. "You can have too much of a good thing, and camel lips are way too much for my taste. You know how the old saying goes, 'More than a mouthful's a waste.'"
In other news, Mary Winkler, 32, who was arraigned yesterday in Selmer, Tennessee, in connection with the shooting death of her minister husband, said the Jesus character in The Book of Daniel told her to do it.
