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White privilege means always having to say you're sorry ...

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday

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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Tom Cruise, Brokeback Mountain, Britney Spears Make Statements
Mar 29, 2006 - 5:31
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HOLLYWOOD - Tom Cruise, Brokeback Mountain, and Britney Spears all made statements yesterday. We thought you'd like to know, and even if you pretend you wouldn't, we're going to tell you anyway.

Mr. Cruise said recent stories that Katie Holmes will be expected to remain quiet when she gives birth to Hubbard Mapother Cruise are "just plain nutty." According to Mr. Cruise, Ms. Holmes is free "to make appropriate vocalizations" while midwife Jenna Elfman assists in little Hubbard's delivery.

"Of course," Mr, Cruise added, "Kate is not permitted to say any of the seven words you didn't used to be able to say on television because that would poison little Hub's reactive mind."

Mr. Cruise also said he is at a loss to understand how "the vicious silent delivery" rumors got started.

"I know there are a lot of people who envy me for my wealth and happiness," said Mr. Cruise. "Nevertheless, I can afford to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they confused delivery with conception, because Scientology does have a strict prohibition against women making any sound or opening their eyes while having sex."

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By taking the top film prize yesterday at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) awards, Brokeback Mountain proved that the anti-Crash backlash following this year's Oscar ceremony was not a simple case of sour grapes.

"Gays and lesbians took a lot of heat when they trashed Crash," said Brokeback director, Ang Lee, "but this award demonstrates that they were right. Brokeback deserved the best-picture Oscar. It's unfortunate that homophobia hijacked that prize this year. I am gratified, however, that a fair and balanced voting panel saw this movie for the masterpiece that it is."

Other GLAAD winners included Newsweek magazine for "best reporting," Oprah Winfrey for "best fag hag," and Melissa Etheridge for "best music by a cancer survivor impregnated with David Crosby's sperm."

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Britney Spears has used the bully pulpit of her website to denounce sculptor Daniel Edwards and his latest work, "Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston." In that controversial, life-size piece, a naked, pregnant Ms. Spears crouches face-down, butt-up on a bare-toothed-bear rug as Sean Preston's head emerges from the sculpture's and Ms. Spears' opposite end.

"Just like the false tabloids, Daniel Edwards got it all wrong," wrote Ms. Spears. "I delivered Sean Preston in the hospital, as everybody with a computer knows. I realize there are a lot of people who envy me for how rich and happy I am, but I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they confused making babies with delivering them.

"I admit I was in that [doggy] position when Sean Preston was conceived, but only because I was too drunk to stand up like Kevin prefers. Furthermore, we weren't doing it on a bear rug. I was wearing the rug because we had just gotten back from a costume party."

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