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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Chocolate Jesus Penis Stolen, Display Canceled
Apr 1, 2007 - 9:34
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NEW YORK - Someone stole the penis from the nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ that had been scheduled to go on display in New York tomorrow night. The theft was discovered early this morning by a custodian at the Lab Gallery in the Roger Smith Hotel, where the exhibition was to have taken place.

A gallery official who announced the cancellation of the exhibit explained that there wasn't enough time to re-sculpt the missing part before tomorrow night.

"Jesus was big for his age," said Geoff Bolton, creative director at the gallery. "You didn't find many six-feet-tall men with a size thirteen sandal in his time, and getting the details right in a correspondingly large penis takes some doing. Besides, part of the Lord's left testicle was damaged in the theft, so his entire kit would have had to have been re-hung."

Mr. Bolton pointed out that artist Cosimo Cavallaro had used two hundred pounds of chocolate in crafting the sculpture.

"That works out to thirty-three pounds a foot. At three-quarters of a foot for the penis, we're talking twenty-five pounds of chocolate."

Catholics reacted angrily to the defacement of the "My Sweet Lord" sculpture. Will Montague, head of the watchdog Catholics for Christianity League, called it one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever.

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"I was privileged to see the sculpture at a sneak preview last week," said Mr. Montague. "Believe me, that penis was so lifelike. Its eye seemed to follow me around the room."

Cardinal Connor O'Malley of the archdiocese of New York hinted that a homosexual might have been behind the theft.

"I don't think I have to say that only a sexual pervert could do such a thing," said Cardinal O'Malley. "I shudder to think where the Lord's member might wind up."

Although Christians and art fanciers alike were incensed by the theft, many New Yorkers found humor in the situation.

"Imagine waking up and finding that in your Easter basket," said dock foreman Vic Longhesi, who had come to the Lab Gallery with a few of his co-workers to view the copulating bunnies display.



In other news, following UCLA's 76-66 loss to Florida last night, former UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, 96, declared that the Bruins dynasty "may finally be over."


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patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

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Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it




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