Postcards from the Pug Bus                
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
The chief obstacle to understanding the human brain is the human brain
"The peace and order of society is of more importance than even the relief of the miserable." Adam Smith
STAFF PICKS
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our fearless editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the festering evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; his hatred of soccer moms; and a whole lot more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Chocolate Jesus Penis Stolen, Display Canceled
        Apr 1, 2007 - 9:34
       
an image
NEW YORK - Someone stole the penis from the nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ that had been scheduled to go on display in New York tomorrow night. The theft was discovered early this morning by a custodian at the Lab Gallery in the Roger Smith Hotel, where the exhibition was to have taken place.

A gallery official who announced the cancellation of the exhibit explained that there wasn't enough time to re-sculpt the missing part before tomorrow night.

"Jesus was big for his age," said Geoff Bolton, creative director at the gallery. "You didn't find many six-feet-tall men with a size thirteen sandal in his time, and getting the details right in a correspondingly large penis takes some doing. Besides, part of the Lord's left testicle was damaged in the theft, so his entire kit would have had to have been re-hung."

Mr. Bolton pointed out that artist Cosimo Cavallaro had used two hundred pounds of chocolate in crafting the sculpture.

"That works out to thirty-three pounds a foot. At three-quarters of a foot for the penis, we're talking twenty-five pounds of chocolate."

Catholics reacted angrily to the defacement of the "My Sweet Lord" sculpture. Will Montague, head of the watchdog Catholics for Christianity League, called it one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever.

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"I was privileged to see the sculpture at a sneak preview last week," said Mr. Montague. "Believe me, that penis was so lifelike. Its eye seemed to follow me around the room."

Cardinal Connor O'Malley of the archdiocese of New York hinted that a homosexual might have been behind the theft.

"I don't think I have to say that only a sexual pervert could do such a thing," said Cardinal O'Malley. "I shudder to think where the Lord's member might wind up."

Although Christians and art fanciers alike were incensed by the theft, many New Yorkers found humor in the situation.

"Imagine waking up and finding that in your Easter basket," said dock foreman Vic Longhesi, who had come to the Lab Gallery with a few of his co-workers to view the copulating bunnies display.



In other news, following UCLA's 76-66 loss to Florida last night, former UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, 96, declared that the Bruins dynasty "may finally be over."
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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