Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Paul Wolfowitz Credit Card Recalled by World Bank
Apr 13, 2007, 10:43
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A source at the World Bank has confirmed that the controversial Paul Wolfowitz credit card will be recalled. The announcement came after the World Bank's twenty-four-member executive board met in a catered, sleep-over session last night on a yacht in the Potomac River.
"Mr. Wolfowitz' use of the credit card to obtain sexual favors from women is lethal to the World Bank's credibility," said the source. "We could not afford to allow his card to remain in circulation while it was being used by women to engage in unprotected shopping."
The Wolfowitz card came under scrutiny last month when a database manager at the World Bank's Zurich office noticed that Shaha Riza, one of Mr. Wolfowitz' several current lovers, had been forgiven $856,949.32 in credit card debt for purchases made at Neiman Marcus, Hermes, Victoria's Secret, and Bed Bath & Beyond.
Shaha Riza, not her good side.
A former topless dancer in her student days at the London School of Economics, Ms. Riza was given a "Wolf Ticket," as many women refer to their vanity Wolfowitz credit cards, with an APR of 12 percent, far below the 50 percent rate charged to persons not providing Mr. Wolfowitz with kinky sex, either singly or in various combinations.
Discontent about Mr. Wolfowitz' abuse of his position came to a climax when he attempted to address two hundred World Bank employees in the $1 million atrium of the bank's Washington headquarters yesterday afternoon. As Mr Wolfowitz pimp walked his way to the podium, many staff members chanted "resign, you freak, resign" while others hissed, booed, made simulated-orgasm noises, or yelled "Do me, you beast, do me."
Shaha Riza, not her good side either.
Mr. Wolfowitz was forced to quit the stage.
One staff member who was in the atrium said: "To see the president of the World Bank being heckled like a common pimp by his own staff was awesome."
In other news, former radio talk show host Don Imus has apologized to New Jersey governor, Jon Corzine, who was critically injured in a car accident while he was on his way to host a meeting between Mr. Imus and the Rutgers women's basketball team at Drumthwacket, the governor's mansion in Princeton, New Jersey. Mr. Imus also wants to meet with the governor in his intensive care unit as soon as possible.
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die 1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.
Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
