title of web site: postcards from the pug bus
 
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   Blog   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball

Search Caitlyn
The World's First
Transgender Search Engine

Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
Your sex life is a shareware program about to expire. One-size-fits-all gloves don't come in your size. If dreams took human form, yours would be wearing toe tags. The planets, the traffic lights, even the local Girl Scout troop will line up against you. Have you insulted one of the mothers of the gods recently or what?

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed ona roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.

image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Tom Cruise' Placenta Eating Tips
Apr 18, 2006 - 10:19
an image
Fresh placenta tartare.
HOLLYWOOD - In a recent interview with GQ magazine Tom Cruise said he plans to eat his baby's placenta. When he was cautioned that placentas weigh approximately one sixth as much as the babies to whom they are attached, Mr. Cruise became combative.

"You don't know placentas," said Mr. Cruise. "I do. I've studied placentas. I know dozens of ways to prepare them. I know what wines go with them. What do you know?"

According to Mr. Cruise, the recipes for serving placenta of which he has firsthand knowledge range from placenta tartare to placenta meat loaf. Mr. Cruise said placenta "reminds him of veal, but with a springier texture like heart." The benefits of eating placenta, he said, include reduced hemorrhaging and a decrease in the likelihood of postpartum depression.

Placenta tartare, which preserves the greatest amount of the placenta's nutritional content, is prepared by mixing the following ingredients thoroughly: one pound of finely ground placenta, one teaspoon of brown mustard, one-half teaspoon of Tabasco sauce, one teaspoon each of Worcestershire sauce and brandy, one egg, a pinch of salt, and ground white pepper to taste.

Refrigerate half an hour to allow the flavors to blend, then serve as a spread on crackers or toast accompanied by any wine with a subtle red-meat aroma, such as a cabernet sauvignon or merlot.

an image
If the idea of eating raw placenta leaves you cold, said Mr. Cruise, there are numerous methods for cooking placenta. One of the simplest is placenta aglio, olio e peperoncino (placenta in garlic, olive oil, and pepper).

Gently blanch one pound of placenta that has been cut into one-quarter-inch-thick discs. After blanching the placenta for no more than thirty seconds, drain and set aside in a deep-heated serving dish.

Heat one cup of extra virgin olive oil in a pan. Add three to four cloves of crushed garlic and one hot chili pepper pod. When the garlic cloves begin to brown, discard them or they'll overwhelm the flavor of the placenta.

Pour the olive oil over the placenta. Sprinkle with black pepper and one teaspoon of chopped Italian parsley. Stir well and serve immediately with fresh-baked crusty Italian bread and a sweet white wine.

Mr. Cruise said his favorite placenta recipe is placenta meat loaf. Begin by chopping one onion and combining it with one teaspoon of black pepper and one sleeve of crushed saltines. Then combine one pound of ground placenta with the onion, pepper, and saltines. Add one teaspoon of bay leaves, one teaspoon each of white and black pepper, a clove of roasted and minced garlic, and one cup of chopped tomatoes. Mix well.

Place in a buttered loaf pan, cover, then bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for an hour and a half, occasionally pouring off excess blood. Serve with smoky wines such as Barolo or Barbaresco.

In addition to these recipes, Mr. Cruise mentioned others "that highlight the placenta's versatility." They included placenta smoothies and placenta jerky, retro-favorites like placenta Wellington and placenta under glass, and "that week night favorite," lasagne Placenta Helper.



Next Oprah: Emeril Legasse Cooks Placenta Creole Style


More Articles by This Author

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


Follow the Pug Bus on Twitter
or we'll follow your ass home.

Contact Us or Else
image of a beat up, rusty old mailboxHey, Skippy. Here's your big chance. Let us know what you think or if you think. You know you want to. Go ahead. We dare you. We might even print your stinking letter. Send email to Pug Bus Editor

Back by Unpopular Demand
Read any three articles, get the fourth one free!
NFL to Install 200 Gender-Appropriate Bathrooms for Super Bowl LI
Windows 10 Officially Labeled Malware by NCSA
Taylor Swift Opens Anal Bleaching Salons
Pippa Middleton's Ass Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

There's a Saint for That
image of a saint, name unknownThere's a saint for that, whatever "that" might be. Just click where it hurts you to find out which board-certified saint to call. Breast Implants, burn marks from the grill,, hemorrhoids, and more.

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolShit happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.