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Numbers Don't Lie
Blacks as % of University of Missouri Student Body . . . 7
Source: Mizzou Diversity

Jews as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.2
Source: Jewish Virtual Library

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.3
Source: NHIS data in the Washington Post

Muslims as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.1
Source: Muslim Population

Persons with Celiac disease as % of U.S. population: 1
Source: Food Republic

Persons who follow a gluten-free diet, despite not having celiac, as a % of U.S. population: 3
Source: National Foundation for Celiac Awareness

Percent of these people who are deluding themselves: 100
Source: The Pug Bus

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed ona roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Tom Cruise' Placenta Eating Tips
Apr 18, 2006 - 10:19
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Fresh placenta tartare.
HOLLYWOOD - In a recent interview with GQ magazine Tom Cruise said he plans to eat his baby's placenta. When he was cautioned that placentas weigh approximately one sixth as much as the babies to whom they are attached, Mr. Cruise became combative.

"You don't know placentas," said Mr. Cruise. "I do. I've studied placentas. I know dozens of ways to prepare them. I know what wines go with them. What do you know?"

According to Mr. Cruise, the recipes for serving placenta of which he has firsthand knowledge range from placenta tartare to placenta meat loaf. Mr. Cruise said placenta "reminds him of veal, but with a springier texture like heart." The benefits of eating placenta, he said, include reduced hemorrhaging and a decrease in the likelihood of postpartum depression.

Placenta tartare, which preserves the greatest amount of the placenta's nutritional content, is prepared by mixing the following ingredients thoroughly: one pound of finely ground placenta, one teaspoon of brown mustard, one-half teaspoon of Tabasco sauce, one teaspoon each of Worcestershire sauce and brandy, one egg, a pinch of salt, and ground white pepper to taste.

Refrigerate half an hour to allow the flavors to blend, then serve as a spread on crackers or toast accompanied by any wine with a subtle red-meat aroma, such as a cabernet sauvignon or merlot.

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If the idea of eating raw placenta leaves you cold, said Mr. Cruise, there are numerous methods for cooking placenta. One of the simplest is placenta aglio, olio e peperoncino (placenta in garlic, olive oil, and pepper).

Gently blanch one pound of placenta that has been cut into one-quarter-inch-thick discs. After blanching the placenta for no more than thirty seconds, drain and set aside in a deep-heated serving dish.

Heat one cup of extra virgin olive oil in a pan. Add three to four cloves of crushed garlic and one hot chili pepper pod. When the garlic cloves begin to brown, discard them or they'll overwhelm the flavor of the placenta.

Pour the olive oil over the placenta. Sprinkle with black pepper and one teaspoon of chopped Italian parsley. Stir well and serve immediately with fresh-baked crusty Italian bread and a sweet white wine.

Mr. Cruise said his favorite placenta recipe is placenta meat loaf. Begin by chopping one onion and combining it with one teaspoon of black pepper and one sleeve of crushed saltines. Then combine one pound of ground placenta with the onion, pepper, and saltines. Add one teaspoon of bay leaves, one teaspoon each of white and black pepper, a clove of roasted and minced garlic, and one cup of chopped tomatoes. Mix well.

Place in a buttered loaf pan, cover, then bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for an hour and a half, occasionally pouring off excess blood. Serve with smoky wines such as Barolo or Barbaresco.

In addition to these recipes, Mr. Cruise mentioned others "that highlight the placenta's versatility." They included placenta smoothies and placenta jerky, retro-favorites like placenta Wellington and placenta under glass, and "that week night favorite," lasagne Placenta Helper.

Next Oprah: Emeril Legasse Cooks Placenta Creole Style

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The Fuck It List
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Shit to Give Up Before You Die
♠ Religion
♠ Voting
♠ Seat Belts
♠ Paying for Music and Movies
♠ Sending Holiday Cards
♠ Funerals
♠ Pissing Indoors All the Time
♠ Paying Attention to Stop Signs
♠ Going to Bed Before Midnight
♠ Standing for the National
      Anthem At Sporting Events
♠ Not Parking in Handicapped
      Parking Spaces

There's a Saint for That
image of a saint, name unknownThere's a saint for that, whatever "that" might be. Just click where it hurts you to find out which board-certified saint to call. Breast Implants, burn marks from the grill,, hemorrhoids, and more.
The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolShit happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
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American Atheists—we've even got our own television station now; great source for material pertaining to the war against Christianity, Christmas, and Jesus H. Christ himself
GNAA—the "G" stands for "Gay," you're on your own with the rest
High Times—wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for?
Pirate Bay—indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
SHUN Magazine—The Journal of Contemporary Shame Culture, (Full Fucking Disclosure: I, Phil Maggitti, your editor in briefs at the Pug Bus, have recently begun contributing under an assumed name to this slap in the pubes to everything that's worth shaming about the American dystopia)
Soulseek—no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free
Spectrum Labs—need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid—before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
BTGuard—great VPN service, it's the one that we here at the Pug Bus use, don't go digital shoplifting on your computer without it