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Mena Suvari Wins Legal Separation from Mira Sorvino
Apr 28, 2007 - 12:33
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Mena Suvari (right) won legal separation from Mira Sorvino.
NEW YORK - American Beauty star Mena Suvari has finally prevailed in her battle seeking a legal separation from Mighty Aphrodite star and Oscar-winning actress Mira Sorvino. A ruling handed down by Judge Judy yesterday ends what Ms. Suvari described as "eight years of confusion, uncertainty, and identity crisis" brought on by the annoying similarity between the actresses' names.

Ms. Suvari, 28, requested that Judge Judy instruct Ms. Sorvino, 39, to change her first name to anything with an odd number of syllables that does not begin with the letters M or N. Ms. Suvari also requested that the change be made retroactive to the start of Ms. Sorvino's acting career.

"I just got tired of people coming up to me in restaurants and quoting lines from Romy and Michele's High School Reunion," Ms. Suvari told Judge Judy.

"What's even worse is when somebody says they thought I should have had a bigger part in Beautiful Girls. People have even begun asking me how I like being a mother."

Ms. Suvari, of course, did not star in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. She appeared in American Beauty, not Beautiful Girls; and she does not have a child. Try telling that, however, to the nine people out of ten who could not tell her from Ms. Sorvino in a recent New York Times poll.

"Mina Sorvano?" asked one respondent. "Didn't she play Chris Kline's girlfriend in American Pie?"

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Told that Mr. Kline's girlfriend was played by Mena Suvari, the respondent said, "I thought she was the one who got the Oscar for Mighty Aphrodite. I get them so confused."

Although Mira Sorvino was present when Judge Judy handed down her ruling yesterday, she declined to comment on that ruling; but Paul Sorvino, who testified that he had no trouble distinguishing between his daughter and Mena Suvari, branded the suit—and Judge Judy—frivolous and self-serving.

"My daughter's taller by nearly half a foot; she's Harvard educated; and she's better looking than Mena Suvari. Eleven years ago Mira was on People magazine's list of the fifty most beautiful people in the world. If you ask me, this legal action was all about publicity and using Mira Sorvino's name to advance Mena Suvari's career."

In reaching her decision Judge Judy relied on two well-known psychometric scales— Google Duel and Celebrity Ranker. According to Google Duel, which compares the number of times two persons' names are mentioned on websites searched by Google, Mena Suvari (1,310,000 hits) was somewhat more "popular" than Mira Sorvino (895,000 hits.)

"That would seem to indicate that Mena Whats-her-name hasn't been materially harmed by the fact that people can't tell her from Mira Whosis," Judge Judy observed.

The legal picture became murkier, however, when the actresses' popularity ratings were considered. Ms. Suvari rated 4.694 on a scale of 7 on the Celebrity Ranker, while Ms. Sorvino rated 4.597.

"This told me these are two rather evenly matched people here with ho-hum visibility; not exactly household names," said Judge Judy. "Maybe that Myna woman's got a case after all. Therefore, I ruled in her favor."

In related news, actor Timothy Bottoms, who was watching this case carefully, said he was inspired by the outcome to file for a similar separation from actor Tim Robbins.

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