Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
3. Seat Belts
4. FOX Fucking News
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
7. Pissing Indoors
8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
9. Stupid-ass, Dip-Shit, Old Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Microsoft to Begin Shipping Windows Linux Ubuntu May 3, 2007 - 9:39
REDMOND, Wash. - Software giant Microsoft announced yesterday that it will begin shipping its newest operating system, Windows Linux Ubuntu, by the end of this month. Computers sold with this free, open-source operating system pre-installed will cost, on average, $149.95 fewer than computers sold with Windows Vista Service Pack 9 pre-installed.
Microsoft's announcement caught computer-industry analysts by surprise.
"We're normally used to waiting three or four years and two or three delays before Microsoft releases a new operating system," said Louis Chuptka of PC Age magazine. "For Microsoft to release a new operating system before hackers have exposed all the vulnerabilities in the previous one is a revolutionary step."
To Microsoft, however, the decision was a no-brainer.
"Since Linux operating systems run on open-source code, anybody is free to adapt and use that code," said Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates. "Therefore, we took the things that Linux is good at, coming up with catchy names and creating a virus-resistant operating kernel, and combined them with things that Windows is good at, like recognizing common software applications and getting a printer to work, and voila—Windows Linux Ubuntu."
Mr. Gates did acknowledge that "the jury is still out" regarding the question of appropriating the name of an open-source operating system, viz. Ubuntu.
"Frankly," he said, "our legal team did not feel that Canonical, the company that purports to own Ubuntu, had done a good enough job of establishing its brand.
"In addition to Ubuntu, Canonical also produces Kubuntu, Edubuntu, Xubuntu, and Louie-Louie-Buntu. Obviously, a company that creates such branding confusion will have trouble prevailing in a court of law against another, more powerful company that wants to use a portion of the Ubuntu name as well as its primary code—especially if that more powerful company can afford to litigate the smaller company's dick into the dirt."
In related news, throwing what appeared to be a legal bone to Canonical, Microsoft announced it would not retain the "cutesy" names Ubuntu gives to its various distributions. Therefore, Dapper Drake will now be known as "Dirty Dan"; Edgy Eft will become "Easy Ellen"; and Feisty Fawn, the latest Ubuntu distro, will be called "Friggin' Flipper."