postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Words                                      observing                                      social                                      distancing                                      ...

image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Lifestyle   Music   News   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball
Search This Site

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of willie nelson smoking weed
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Blair and Pope Herald New Age of Catholicism
May 7, 2005 - 8:41
an image
LONDON - Hot on the heels of his muted election victory, Tony Blair faces a new crisis following a dramatic leak from the Vatican. According to a source in Rome, believed to be an adversary of the newly inaugurated Pope Benedict XVI, an audacious deal has been cut between the Catholic Church and Hewlett Packard, apparently with Mr Blair as intermediary.

The Prime Minister's association with the Roman Catholic Church is informal. Yet, being married to a Catholic, he regularly attends services and freely speaks of his own faith. He is known to have conferred already with the new pontiff and is believed to have discussed the future of the church along with the issue of its representation in the 21st century.

The deal arranged by Blair, expected to be announced later this month, involves utilising handheld technology, in which Hewlett Packard is a market leader, to enable practising Catholics to keep an ongoing schedule of their sins. That record, uploaded into data ports incorporated into the side of confessionals, will be available to the attending priest on a screen in his compartment. Having read the 'e-fession,' the priest can then choose from a database of atonements which are uploaded back into the confessor's handheld device.

As the device continues to be used on a regular basis, it builds a history of its owner's misdemeanours and the recommended repentances for them. It is believed the software features a function which automatically calculates a suggested frequency of confessions and, when connected to a confessional, will enable priests to gauge at a glance which atonements are working best for each individual.

"It's spiritualism on the go," an anonymous source at HP told Regan Blakemore of Reuters. "In the setting of a high-paced world of life-shaping decisions, it makes communing with God a smoother, more immediate and satisfying process. It takes the grind out of being righteous."

This observation was refuted by leading theologian, Professor Malcolm Paddison at Trinity College, Oxford.

"One of the interesting effects of [the Catholic Church] having a systematic approach to matters of conscience is that it provides a mechanism which effectively results in an emotional dislocation between the subject and his sin. Arguably, an approved means of absolution allows the subject to view the sin as meaningless in terms of consequence. It objectifies the sin and dispels it. Therefore, the subject remains perpetually unaware of the real meaning of his wrongdoing. When one introduces the convenience of technology into the system, the meaninglessness of sin is amplified."

With the popularity of wireless technology such as Bluetooth, it is anticipated that the new style of 'conscience management,' as it is already becoming known, will be available to practising Catholics who are unable to gain access to a confessional.

"It's not too difficult to guess how this could end up going," said Reuters' HP insider. "Once the devices have a 'sin history' of a month or more, they could conceivably script automated confessions using existing personal data. These could be beamed wirelessly to any number of confessional servers which would send back atonements, generated by a system which has access to the sinner's 'repentance profile.'"

Since Tony Blair's decision to support the United States in the Iraq war, criticism has been levelled at him highlighting his self-conscious style of leadership. At the outbreak of war, Secretary of State for Overseas Development, Claire Short, accused him of being obsessed with his place in history. Because of Blair's much diminished majority in the House of Commons, many attribute this new interest in the affairs of the Vatican as evidence of his obsession becoming yet keener.

Additionally, say his critics, it points to his desire to be seen as a player in the world economy by rubbing shoulders with corporate giants. Having pulled the UK into an era of secularism, it is peculiar that he should have chosen to join forces with the head of the old Christian guard, even if only to introduce it to secularism in the form of technology.

The new pope is known for his determination to protect religious tradition against any effort to modernise the Church, preferring to safeguard the practises of the faith in a world which increasingly demands compromise from the Vatican. By employing state of the art technology as a means of holding onto existing members of the church, as well as attracting younger converts, Pope Benedict XVI may, with Tony Blair's help, have found a new route to Catholic prosperity, and a faithful generation whose conscience exists, no longer only in the confessional, but in holy cyberspace.

Charles Kennedy is so far the only political leader in the UK to have commented on the subject.

"There aren't enough gigabytes to store that bastard's sin profile," he remarked of Mr Blair.

More Articles by This Author

Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

Share The
Pug Bus

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these still-fresh articles and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti smoking a funny cigarette
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Contact Us
image of a beat up, rusty old mailboxSend email to Pug Bus Editor.

Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it

© Copyright 2005 by