Postcards from the Pug Bus                

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
The chief obstacle to understanding the human brain is the human brain
"The peace and order of society is of more importance than even the relief of the miserable." Adam Smith
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
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image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our fearless editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the festering evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; his hatred of soccer moms; and a whole lot more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Angelina Jolie to Replace Paul Wolfowitz at World Bank
        May 8, 2007 - 8:27
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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Angelina Jolie has been tapped to replace Paul Wolfowitz as president of the World Bank. President Bush is expected to delay making the formal announcement until early next week, however, in order to give Mr. Wolfowitz time to gild his parachute, and Mr. Bush time to prepare for his Saturday Night Live appearance with Queen Elizabeth.

"President Bush has no other option but to replace Paul now that World Bank officials have concluded he breached the bank's dating code when he arranged a 'merit reward package' and promotion for his ladyfriend, Shaha Riza," said White House press secretary, Tony Snow, at an early morning press conference today.

When he was asked to explain the choice of Ms. Jolie, Mr. Snow replied, "President Bush believes that after Jim Wolfensohn and Paul Wolfowitz, it's time for the World Bank to be led by someone whose last name does not begin with the letters w,o,l,f."

In addition, said Mr. Snow, the World Bank's employee health and welfare officer has received numerous complaints about Mr. Wolfowitz's personal habits.

"There's a scene in Fahrenheit 9/11, I'm told, in which Paul spits on his comb before running it through his hair prior to a television appearance," said Mr. Snow. "Apparently that was not an isolated incident.

        "Furthermore, Paul has a troubling habit of using a toothpick to clean his fingernails and then using it to clean his teeth; and one staffer with whom Paul is reputed to have had a personal relationship said he frequently asked female employees to clip his toenails for him."

Mr. Snow also hinted that Mr. Wolfowitz "has a tendency to talk the talk without walking the walk."

Although Mr. Snow would not elaborate on this statement, he may have been alluding to the fact that Mr. Wolfowitz, a uberhawk now, used student deferments to avoid military service in the Viet Nam then. Besides, he's supposed to be an advocate for helping poor nations out of poverty, yet he's never cradled, much less adopted, anyone from a Third World country.

Mr. Wolfowitz still contends he broke no rules at the World Bank, but a senior loan officer at the bank told Forbes magazine that Mr. Wolfowitz "will probably resign" in order to dodge a full-blown hearing, which "would reveal other breaches of banking etiquette," including the use of his World Bank credit card to rent movies for personal use from Blockbuster.

Next Oprah: Introducing the World Bank Zwanzaa Club

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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