Sharon Stone Is the New Face of Designer Vagina Craze
May 26, 2007, 03:22
HOLLYWOOD - Sharon Stone is the new face of genitoplasty, the ultimate frontier in the deep netherworld of cosmetic surgery. Also known as “the designer coochie craze,” genitoplasty is aiming to grab Hollywood by the short and curlies, and the ageless Ms. Stone has hitched her baggage to its star.
The Basic Instinct siren followed her own instincts and signed a $2.5 million personal services contract to represent Lip ‘n’ Tuck Hollywood, “the world’s foremost practitioners of the art of cosmetic surgery on the female genitalia.”
“Women have augmented or reduced virtually every part of their anatomies but one,” said Ms. Stone, “and it’s time we were up front about that omission.”
Before
According to the British Medical Journal, “Elective genitoplasty, as it is practised in the Western world, usually entails shortening or changing the shape of the outer lips, or labia, but may also include reduction in the hood of skin covering the clitoris or even in the shortening of the vagina itself.”
The fad, which began in Great Britain three years ago, eventually spread to the United States, where more than one hundred genitoplasties were performed in Hollywood alone last year at an average cost of $8,500.
Most women who elect to have their frontiers redefined cite “impingements on lifestyle” as the chief reason for their decision, said Louise McGill, an intake technician at Lip ‘n’ Tuck Hollywood.
After
These impingements usually include the inability to wear tight clothing or thongs, a reluctance to take communal showers, and the inability to ride a bicycle comfortably. In some extreme cases of labial metalonga (overdeveloped labia), women were not able to engage in certain sexual practices.
“Most of that is code for ‘fear of camel-toe effect,’” laughed Ms. Stone. “Women who are getting long in the lip want their vulvas to be flat, like a twelve-year-old’s, so they’ll look better in clothes. Who wants to put on a $725 pair of Dolce & Gabbana jeans and look like she’s trying to smuggle a cheeseburger in her crotch?”
Next Oprah: Free genitoplasty makeovers for the entire audience.
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