Postcards from the Pug Bus                
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
STAFF PICKS
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
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two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
        May 28, 2005 - 11:10
       
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ASPEN, Colo. - Johnny Depp will read selected passages from Hunter S. Thompson's 352-page suicide note at an invitation-only memorial service for the late author. In addition, Depp will fund the erection of a 150-foot tower from which Thompson's ashes will be scattered at the August 20 celebration to be held on Thompson's Woody Creek Farm near Aspen. Depp and Thompson became close friends when Depp portrayed Thompson in the movie version of the latter's book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Thompson, who shot and killed himself on February 20, left behind a rambling, often profane suicide note, which Rolling Stone magazine in conjunction with St. Martin's Press will publish in book form this summer. The book was originally scheduled to appear in March, but it contained so many potentially libelous references that lawyers hired by Thompson's wife said they could not possibly clear the book for publication in so little time.

According to persons who have read a draft of the book, Thompson's suicide was prompted at least in part by the appearance of his phone number on the Internet after Paris Hilton's Sidekick had been hacked.

"That king-hell, soul-sucking, cellulite-brained sleazoid Paris Hilton has sucked me into the maw of her eyeball-frying power trip," wrote Thompson. "Now every two-bit geek of an editor I ever kept waiting up past his bedtime on a deadline is ringing me as if I'm the local Domino's Pizza just to give me one of the few remaining pieces of his or her mind."

The invasion of his treasured privacy wasn't the only thing that drove Thompson to despair. He apparently made—and lost—a large bet with Rush Limbaugh on the Super Bowl.

"I got suckered like a virgin on prom night with her first corsage," wrote Thompson. "No way I should have let that speech-slurring, OxyContin-popping rat bastard hornswoggle me into taking the Eagles without the points. How was I to know that [Eagles quarterback] Donovan McNabb would swallow his colon when the game was on the line? I've seen snitches trapped in the corner of a rest stop on a Hell's Angels' run with more composure than that guy."

McNabb, Limbaugh, and Hilton were only a few of the public figures and celebrities whom Thompson gunned down with bursts of Uzi-like prose. Even Rolling Stone editor, Jann Wenner, who had purchased the rights to Thompson's suicide note for $10 million some time ago, was withered in the crossfire.

"I hope you're happy, you pompous, vainglorious Nancy Boy twit," wrote Thompson. "I can tell your sorry, Mick Jagger-loving ass that I certainly will be glad not having to put up with your limp-wristed voice whining into my answering machine asking how I managed to spend $25 thousand in two days on room service. I ought to send you a bill for all the freakin' answering machines I shot on account of you."

Depp will read these passages—and/or others similar in tone and intent—before igniting the electronic fuse that will trigger a cannon containing Thompson's ashes. Jon Equis, the event producer working with Thompson's family on the memorial service, said the cannon will be perched on top of a tower 12 feet wide at the base, 8 feet wide at the top, and 150 feet in height. The structure will be designed to resemble Thompson's 'gonzo fist' emblem.

In other news, ESPN has secured exclusive rights to film the Hunter S.Thompspon memorial, which will be broadcast on a special edition of "Real Sports" with Bryant Gumble.
   

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