Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Starbucks to Release Rare Dylan Flavor
Jun 29, 2005, 09:20
SEATTLE - Starbucks announced yesterday that it will release a new coffee flavor, Gaslight, on August 30. Named after the cafe where Bob Dylan was a regular more than forty years ago, Gaslight is a young but gifted brew made from a selection of the highest quality Arabica beans grown on a huge estate in Kenya recently purchased by Dylan.
"Like all Kenyan coffee, Gaslight is elegant and medium-bodied," said Venti Delachrome, a Starbucks marketing representative. "It has a wonderful fruity flavor redolent of blackberries. The acidity is crisp and clean at the start; the flavor intense in the midrange; and the finish is tart but not unpleasant with a lingering grapefruit note. Bob is virtually addicted to it."
According to Delachrome, Starbucks will launch a special promotion to coincide with the release of Gaslight. Everyone who purchases a grande (medium) cup of Gaslight at a participating Starbucks will be given a discount coupon good for $5 off the purchase of a Hard Travelin' Bob Dylan coffee mug, which features a portrait of Dylan painted by Jamie Wyeth.
Dylan's association with Starbucks caught many of his older, more scraggly fans by surprise.
One more cup of coffee for the road.
"I still hadn't forgiven him for that Victoria's Secret fiasco," complained Buzz Adrone in a Dylan chatroom. "I was really bummed about that, but I figured maybe they'd given him fifteen minutes with the model in return for using his image. That I could understand, almost, but this? What's next, "Like a Rolling Stone" salad dressing?
In a word, almost, says Dylan's publicist, Morton Sawcow, who reported that Balsamic Bob dressing, the first in a projected line of Dylan's Own gourmet foods, will hit Trader Joe's outlets this fall.
"Bob's always admired the way Paul Newman raised money for worthy causes by selling socially responsible foods," said Sawcow. "Bob decided that he could do the same thing for his own profit."
In related news, the Food Network announced that "No Direction Home," a cooking program directed by Martin Scorsese and featuring Bob Dylan preparing his favorite recipes in fans' houses around the world, is set for a post-Thanksgiving debut.
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die 1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.
Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
