title of web site: postcards from the pug bus
 
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Your 420 Ganjascope

Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological


The Fuck It List

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Ten Things You Should Fllip the Bird to Before You Die

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Facebook, Twitter, et al.
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Your Bucket List
  7. Classic Rock
  8. Bathing Regularly
  9. Stupid-ass Old Fart Hats
10. Going to Bed Early


The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-biddy English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


Facebook This
facebook logoYou're still on Facebook, Skippy? Really? That sucks. All the cool kids are on Fumbler or InstaCram or AssBook. The only people left on Facebook are new mothers of both sexes, grandmothers of both sexes, and jerkwads looking to organize open-border rallies. You know who you are; so do we.
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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Tom Cruise Rips Brooke Shields in Birthday Interview
Jul 3, 2005 - 9:49
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HOLLYWOOD - Scientologist Tom Cruise revealed yesterday that he is "much older" than the forty three years he has spent in his present body. Indeed, said Cruise during a half-hour conference call with selected reporters from his fan clubs' newsletters, he is "old beyond reckoning." What's more, his current life is "probably one of the least satisfying" he has led.

"I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents, and developed cures for diseases," said Cruise. "I only took my present form because Bingodulla, whom all Scientologists worship as the Supreme Thetan, selected me to spread the gospel of Scientology to the glib, uninformed masses. I really would have preferred being a brain surgeon or a research scientist in this life."

Cruise said he became aware that he "had been here before," when he read the complete works of Shakespeare in a month, despite being dyslexic, not long after dropping out of high school.

"Shakespeare was deja vu for me," said Cruise. "It was so cool. I felt as if I had seen his words already, knew them all by heart. Then, after I began studying scientology, I realized the words had come from my heart in a previous life. That's why I say that as glorious and enviable as my present life is, making "War of the Worlds" and all those other great movies can't compare to writing "Romeo and Juliet" or the sonnets.

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Tom wasn't expecting a whoopie cushion when he eased into Oprah's couch.
The mention of Romeo and Juliet naturally led to a discussion of Cruise' highly visible relationship with actress Katie Holmes, 26, to whom Cruise, 43, recently became engaged.

"Kate's a magnificent, wonderful woman, whom I have known many times in many lives before," said Cruise. "When I was languishing in prison before being sent to exile, she used to send me notes hidden in the collar of her pug dog. She's my eternal soulmate."

Cruise then explained that the "sheer joy of finding Katie" again was something non-Scientologists can't understand.

"I know the history of this woman; other people don't," said Cruise. "Until you've been with a partner in countless past lives, you'll never know the joy of rediscovering that partner in your present life. It's a joy I wish for all of you."

In addition to recognizing his days of future passed in the works of Shakespeare and Bach—and in the achievements of Columbus and Napoleon—Cruise recognizes the continuing reappearance of "Anti-Thetanic forces," such as Matt Lauer and Brooke Shields, with whom he has clashed in former lives.

"I could tell you stories about Brooke," said Cruise. "She was the mistress of Sigmund Freud, you know. Is it any wonder she promotes his discredited theories? She's so confused. Her engrams have engrams, and until she faces the source of the pain trapped in those engrams from former lives, she'll continue to do herself and her followers harm."

In related news, Cruise said that he expected Dakota Fanning, 11, his co-star in "War of the Worlds," to profess her faith in Scientology "before too much longer."


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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


Back by Unpopular Demand
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Read any two articles, get the third one free!

Norton Internet Security Won't Let Customers Uninstall

President-elect Trump Praises Pug Bus for Official English Policy

Pippa Middleton's Ass Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the onions to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
What Would Neitzsche Do?
image of F. NeitzscheForget Jesus H. Christ. Who cares, besides Carson Wentz, what Jesus would do? To survive in a postmodern world, ask yourself what would Neitzsche do.
Contact Us and Win a Prize
image of a beat up, rusty old mailboxHey, Skippy. Here's your big chance. Let us know what you think or if you think. You know you want to. Go ahead. We dare you. We might even print your stinking letter. Send email to Pug Bus Editor. Send regular mail—and win a guaranteed prize worth as much as $1—to Postcards from the Pug Bus, 1379 Dilworthtown Xing, Suite 207, West Chester, PA 19382


Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it


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