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Deplorably Speaking: A Righteous Blog
Herein your fearless editor in briefs, who was deplorable long before deplorable was a meme, holds forth, but seldom holds his tongue, on a variety of topics ranging from the politicalization of sports to the emasculation of male college students to the idiocies of third-wave feminism to the reasons for (and implications of) the sudden prominence of white-interest™ movements to whatever fickles his nancy. You can check in any time you like as long as you're prepared to get deplorable.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.


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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Tom Cruise Rips Brooke Shields in Birthday Interview
Jul 3, 2005 - 9:49
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HOLLYWOOD - Scientologist Tom Cruise revealed yesterday that he is "much older" than the forty three years he has spent in his present body. Indeed, said Cruise during a half-hour conference call with selected reporters from his fan clubs' newsletters, he is "old beyond reckoning." What's more, his current life is "probably one of the least satisfying" he has led.

"I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents, and developed cures for diseases," said Cruise. "I only took my present form because Bingodulla, whom all Scientologists worship as the Supreme Thetan, selected me to spread the gospel of Scientology to the glib, uninformed masses. I really would have preferred being a brain surgeon or a research scientist in this life."

Cruise said he became aware that he "had been here before," when he read the complete works of Shakespeare in a month, despite being dyslexic, not long after dropping out of high school.

"Shakespeare was deja vu for me," said Cruise. "It was so cool. I felt as if I had seen his words already, knew them all by heart. Then, after I began studying scientology, I realized the words had come from my heart in a previous life. That's why I say that as glorious and enviable as my present life is, making "War of the Worlds" and all those other great movies can't compare to writing "Romeo and Juliet" or the sonnets.

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Tom wasn't expecting a whoopie cushion when he eased into Oprah's couch.
The mention of Romeo and Juliet naturally led to a discussion of Cruise' highly visible relationship with actress Katie Holmes, 26, to whom Cruise, 43, recently became engaged.

"Kate's a magnificent, wonderful woman, whom I have known many times in many lives before," said Cruise. "When I was languishing in prison before being sent to exile, she used to send me notes hidden in the collar of her pug dog. She's my eternal soulmate."

Cruise then explained that the "sheer joy of finding Katie" again was something non-Scientologists can't understand.

"I know the history of this woman; other people don't," said Cruise. "Until you've been with a partner in countless past lives, you'll never know the joy of rediscovering that partner in your present life. It's a joy I wish for all of you."

In addition to recognizing his days of future passed in the works of Shakespeare and Bach—and in the achievements of Columbus and Napoleon—Cruise recognizes the continuing reappearance of "Anti-Thetanic forces," such as Matt Lauer and Brooke Shields, with whom he has clashed in former lives.

"I could tell you stories about Brooke," said Cruise. "She was the mistress of Sigmund Freud, you know. Is it any wonder she promotes his discredited theories? She's so confused. Her engrams have engrams, and until she faces the source of the pain trapped in those engrams from former lives, she'll continue to do herself and her followers harm."

In related news, Cruise said that he expected Dakota Fanning, 11, his co-star in "War of the Worlds," to profess her faith in Scientology "before too much longer."


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The Gift of GAB
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