title of web site: postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   BLOG   Celebrities   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball
Search This Site

Your 420 Ganjascope

Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological

The Fuck It List

image of a big fucking thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Fllip the Bird to Before You Die

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Facebook, Twitter, et al.
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Your Bucket List
  7. Classic Rock
  8. Bathing Regularly
  9. Stupid-ass Old Fart Hats
10. Going to Bed Early

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-biddy English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Facebook This
facebook logoYou're still on Facebook, Skippy? Really? That sucks. All the cool kids are on Fumbler or InstaCram or AssBook. The only people left on Facebook are new mothers of both sexes, grandmothers of both sexes, and jerkwads looking to organize open-border rallies. You know who you are; so do we.
image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Jennifer Aniston Still Believes Brad Pitt Is Gay
Jul 8, 2006 - 8:54
an image
HOLLYWOOD - Jennifer Aniston, recently chosen by Entertainment Tonight viewers as the star who best represents American values, held a brief press conference yesterday to thank her supporters "for this meaningful honor."

Ms. Aniston finished ahead of Reese Witherspoon, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, Clay Aiken, George Clooney, Jennifer Garner, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, and Brad Pitt, who tied with Keanu Reeves for tenth place.

Although Ms. Aniston had announced she would not take any questions from the press—and she ignored repeated questions about her plans to marry Vince Vaughn—she stopped as she was leaving the podium when a reporter shouted, "Why do you think Brad Pitt finished so low in the voting?"

"Well," she replied, "at first I thought it had something to do with the fact that Brad is gay and won't admit it; but so is Clay Aiken, and he finished higher than Brad. So maybe committing adultery and then lying about it were factors."

This was not the first time Ms. Aniston had outted Mr. Pitt. In an interview with Vanity Fair last year, she said that she was "dumbfounded" when she saw photographs of Mr. Pitt with his hair dyed "a really gay blond" shortly after the couple had split up. Ms. Aniston said she recalled thinking, "Ohmigod, he didn't waste any time coming out, did he?"

According to Ms. Aniston, she had suspected for some time that all was not "on the straight and narrow" with Mr. Pitt's sexual preferences. While refusing to go into detail, Ms. Aniston confessed that Mr. Pitt had wanted her "to dress up like a man" when the couple had sex. Ms. Aniston said she tried to accommodate Mr. Pitt at first, but "some of the things he wanted me to wear were quite uncomfortable—not to mention ridiculous looking.

an image
"I didn't mind the Village People or The Carpenters CDs, or watching that Kevin Kline movie about the gay high school teacher over and over," said Ms. Aniston, "but the accessories and props were over the top."

Ms. Aniston said she finally complained to Mr. Pitt about those "accessories," but he told her if she didn't want to "play ball" with him, he would find someone else who would.

"I thought he was bluffing at first," said Ms. Aniston, "and that his so-called 'attraction' to that woman (Angelina Jolie) was just a ploy to get me to put my [breasts] in his milking machine. The next thing I knew, he was photographed playing house with her and visiting a known gay beach in Africa. That hurt, but not as much as the milking machine."

Although Ms. Aniston struggled to maintain a brave facade in the Vanity Fair interview, she broke down twice during the three-hour session. The first time was when she described her reaction to Mr. Pitt's new hair color. The second time was when she recalled her feelings upon realizing that Mr. Pitt had contracted AIDS.

"That story about Brad being hospitalized with viral meningitis didn't fool me," said Ms. Aniston. "I know what that's code for."

Ms. Aniston said that even before she learned about "Brad's medical condition," she had forgiven Mr. Pitt and felt no animosity toward him.

"If he found someone willing to do things I was uncomfortable doing, I wish him well. I will always love Brad, funny accessories and all. It did made me sad, however, that he resorted to fathering a child through artificial insemination just to prove his manhood."

Mr. Pitt, who is currently vacationing in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, with Angelina Jolie, could not be reached for comment about Ms. Aniston's interview. Mr. Pitt's spokes-
woman, Cindy Guagenti, issued a terse statement saying Ms. Aniston is "seriously delusional if she thinks Brad Pitt is gay, even though there's nothing wrong with being gay, of course. Indeed, Brad remains sincerely grateful for the support of his legions of gay fans."

In other news, Lindsay Lohan's office confirmed a report that Ms. Lohan was planning to change her name to Lindsay Rose on the advice of her Kabbalah mentor, Madonna Esther.

More Articles by This Author

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

Back by Unpopular Demand
image of phil maggitti standing next to a sign that reads last chance
Read any two articles, get the third one free!

Norton Internet Security Won't Let Customers Uninstall

President-elect Trump Praises Pug Bus for Official English Policy

Pippa Middleton's Ass Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the onions to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
What Would Neitzsche Do?
image of F. NeitzscheForget Jesus H. Christ. Who cares, besides Carson Wentz, what Jesus would do? To survive in a postmodern world, ask yourself what would Neitzsche do.
Contact Us and Win a Prize
image of a beat up, rusty old mailboxHey, Skippy. Here's your big chance. Let us know what you think or if you think. You know you want to. Go ahead. We dare you. We might even print your stinking letter. Send email to Pug Bus Editor. Send regular mail—and win a guaranteed prize worth as much as $1—to Postcards from the Pug Bus, 1379 Dilworthtown Xing, Suite 207, West Chester, PA 19382

Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it

Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo

© Copyright 2006 by YourSite.com