Postcards from the Pug Bus                

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Magic Mushroom Research Validates Sixties Stories
        Jul 11, 2006 - 9:51
        BALTIMORE - Researchers at Johns Hopkins have demonstrated that the sixties, a period of mythical renown in American culture, really were as "groovy" as some people claim. In the controversial study, thirty-six carefully screened, non-drug-using subjects were given "magic mushrooms," a popular recreational substance during the sixties, in a controlled laboratory setting.

The subjects recorded their reactions, which were then analyzed and compared to recollections of the sixties provided by a group of Deadheads at a Phil Lesh and Friends concert in nearby Columbia, Maryland. The similarities between the group's reports were significant.

"Both the experimental group, whose members had never used psychedelic drugs, and the control group, whose members were veteran trippers, reported finding deep spiritual meaning in the work of artists like Jimi Hendrix, Quicksilver Messenger Service, the Grateful Dead, Moby Grape, and Tim Buckley," said chief researcher, Stephen A. Ritter, MD.

"We expected that kind of response from the control group," said Dr. Ritter, "but the nearly identical response from the experimental group indicates that people who remember the sixties as the greatest decade ever aren't simply blowing smoke."

Dr. Ritter, who pointed out that the sixties actually began in 1964 and ended in 1974, also noted that the similarities between the experimental and control groups' experiences gave the lie to the irritating cliche: "If you can remember the sixties, you weren't really there."

"Both groups not only remembered their psychedelic experiences but also reveled in those memories," he said.

        At a follow-up interview three months after they had eaten 'shrooms, members of the experimental group, a number of whom turned up barefooted, talked fondly about sitting in a dimly lit laboratory during the experiment, listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz with the sound turned off. Many of them said they had repeated that experience in their own houses.

Members of the experimental group also said that 'shrooms had given them a fondness for tie-dyed clothing and old VW buses, an inclination to greet people with the peace sign, and a tendency to smile at strangers on the street.

"I'm no longer going to think 'that's bullshit, man' when somebody's rapping about how cool the sixties were," said subject X27. "I'm hip to that scene now. I was still tripping when I got home the other week, and me and the old lady had the best sex we ever had. You haven't balled until you've balled behind 'shrooms.

"I can also dig how people back then put an end to the Vietnam war. It's a bummer we can't do likewise with Amerika's imperialist occupation of Iraq. Up against the wall, m*ther-f*cker!"

In related news, President George W. Bush criticized "the John Hopkins study for attempting to rewrite the discredited history of the sixties." Mr. Bush also said, "This research sends the wrong message to our enemies in the war on drugs."

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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