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Jude Law Apologies for Seducing the Nanny
Jul 18, 2005, 09:41
LONDON - A distraught and groveling Jude Law apologized publicly to his fiancee, actress Sienna Miller, after she had read a newspaper article claiming that Law "was having it away" with his children's nanny.
According to London's tabloid conscience, The Sun, Law, 32, e-mailed an apology to "every major newspaper in Britain and to the secretaries of several garden societies as well." In the apology Law said he "deeply regretted and was profoundly ashamed of his lustful encounters" with Daisy Wright, 26, who had worked until recently as the nanny to Law's three children by his former wife, Sadie Frost.
Miller, 23, who is appearing in "As You Like It" in London's West End, told friends that when she phoned Law to confront him about the affair, he blamed her for his behavior, whining that she was not devoted enough to him and that she was more interested in her career than she was in him.
"Rather than being guilty and contrite, he tried to turn the whole thing against Sienna," said a friend of the couple. "It was only when she told him to sod off that he went public with that bogus apology."
Law began his affair with Wright in New Orleans, when he was on location there filming All The King's Men in March. According to The Sun, the "dodgy business with Wright" was uncovered when one of Law's children told Frost that 'Daddy was naked with Daisy rubbing her bum.'"
Jude Law with Gwyneth Paltrow, one of the few women living in Lnodon with whom Law has not been involved.
Although Law called the child "a rotten liar," Frost sacked Wright, who claims that Law was on the phone the following day, begging her to see him again.
Law met and began dating Sienna Miller while he was filming last year's remake of the 1960s classic Alfie. Their affair began when Law was still married to Frost, from whom he was granted a "quickie" divorce last October, after six years of marriage, on the grounds of Law's "unreasonable behavior."
Reaction to Law's sniveling apology was swift and mocking.
"He came across as a bit of a wet," said Hugh Grant, who was once arrested on Los Angeles' Sunset Strip for soliciting oral sex from a Hollywood hooker calling herself Divine Brown. "Whatever became of the concept of the stiff upper lip?"
"What a [pussy]," sneered Colin Firth. "He's going to take a drubbing over this. Serves the bastard right. He ought to just mail her (Miller) his testicles."
In related news, Law also apologized to his ex-wife Sadie Frost, for nagging her into taking part in wife-swapping sessions with their friends Danny Goffey and Pearl Lowe, and to his parents, for "the time you caught me [abusing myself] in your bed."
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
