postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
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Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
Editor's note: In addition to presenting fresh material daily, Postcards from the Pug Bus scans the offerings of other satire sites around the Web on a regular basis. In the process, our crack editorial staff sometimes encounters a story so brilliant that we exclaim as one, "Damn, I wish I had thought of that."Jul 20, 2005 - 6:17 When we discover such an article, we generally set about scheming how to steal it. Sometimes our consciences get the better of us, however, and we elect to print the entire article verbatim instead. Such is the case with the following piece, which appeared originally on TheChickenCount.com website, a smashing new site carrying on in the grand British satire tradition. The article—entitled "Queen's Pants Only Cost Us 0.003p per Year Each"—can be found along with loads of other funny stuff at TheChickenCount.com.) Details of the Queen's entire annual underwear budget have been revealed, prompting critics to demand the monarch trim her spending. Buckingham Palace said Wednesday that the figures, which showed the Queen-sized royal underpants cost each taxpayer just 0.003 pence a year, proved Queen Elizabeth and her household were providing good value for money. Amounting to around £4.11 per day, critics seized on details of the £1,500 a year underpants bill. Lawmaker Bill Rutford, a Labour Party Fundraiser, said the monarchy provided "reasonable value" but called the expenditure of luxury underwear as "indefensible." "We ought to have more of the royals using normal shops for their everyday expenses. I know for a fact that there are perfectly comfortable women's pants available in Matalan for less than £4.00 for 3 pairs." A controversial new book by former Buckingham Palace housemaid Mary Simpson has just been released, which looks specifically at the flamboyant underwear tastes of the Royal Family. Her book, entitled The Royals Downstairs, gives stark descriptions of the monarch's underwear tastes and demands. "Quite frankly I am surprised she's only wasting £1,500 a year on her pant shopping, considering how many pairs she has," explained Ms. Simpson. "She is obsessed with having the newest styles as soon as they hit the cat walks. Sometimes she would have new lines flown in directly from New York just so she could have some before they became common." Alan Reid, Keeper of the Privy Purse, slammed the accusations made by Ms. Simpson: "This woman is not to be trusted. She is making money through the abuse of a highly trusted and respected position of pant sorter. She left the Palace after a fall out with another member of staff and now she is trying to make money with this nonsense. "We have acknowledged that HRH could cut back on some of the more expensive garments that she favours, but to suggest that the Queen of England should wear the same pair of pants twice is quite ridiculous." © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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