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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
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New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear Jul 20, 2005 - 6:17
Editor's note: In addition to presenting fresh material daily, Postcards from the Pug Bus scans the offerings of other satire sites around the Web on a regular basis. In the process, our crack editorial staff sometimes encounters a story so brilliant that we exclaim as one, "Damn, I wish I had thought of that."
When we discover such an article, we generally set about scheming how to steal it. Sometimes our consciences get the better of us, however, and we elect to print the entire article verbatim instead.
Such is the case with the following piece, which appeared originally on TheChickenCount.com website, a smashing new site carrying on in the grand British satire tradition. The article—entitled "Queen's Pants Only Cost Us 0.003p per Year Each"—can be found along with loads of other funny stuff at TheChickenCount.com.)
Details of the Queen's entire annual underwear budget have been revealed, prompting critics to demand the monarch trim her spending.
Buckingham Palace said Wednesday that the figures, which showed the Queen-sized royal underpants cost each taxpayer just 0.003 pence a year, proved Queen Elizabeth and her household were providing good value for money.
Amounting to around £4.11 per day, critics seized on details of the £1,500 a year underpants bill.
Lawmaker Bill Rutford, a Labour Party Fundraiser, said the monarchy provided "reasonable value" but called the expenditure of luxury underwear as "indefensible."
"We ought to have more of the royals using normal shops for their everyday expenses. I know for a fact that there are perfectly comfortable women's pants available in Matalan for less than £4.00 for 3 pairs."
A controversial new book by former Buckingham Palace housemaid Mary Simpson has just been released, which looks specifically at the flamboyant underwear tastes of the Royal Family. Her book, entitled The Royals Downstairs, gives stark descriptions of the monarch's underwear tastes and demands.
"Quite frankly I am surprised she's only wasting £1,500 a year on her pant shopping, considering how many pairs she has," explained Ms. Simpson. "She is obsessed with having the newest styles as soon as they hit the cat walks. Sometimes she would have new lines flown in directly from New York just so she could have some before they became common."
Alan Reid, Keeper of the Privy Purse, slammed the accusations made by Ms. Simpson: "This woman is not to be trusted. She is making money through the abuse of a highly trusted and respected position of pant sorter. She left the Palace after a fall out with another member of staff and now she is trying to make money with this nonsense.
"We have acknowledged that HRH could cut back on some of the more expensive garments that she favours, but to suggest that the Queen of England should wear the same pair of pants twice is quite ridiculous."
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The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.