Postcards from the Pug Bus                

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
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image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
        Jul 20, 2005 - 6:17
        Editor's note: In addition to presenting fresh material daily, Postcards from the Pug Bus scans the offerings of other satire sites around the Web on a regular basis. In the process, our crack editorial staff sometimes encounters a story so brilliant that we exclaim as one, "Damn, I wish I had thought of that."

When we discover such an article, we generally set about scheming how to steal it. Sometimes our consciences get the better of us, however, and we elect to print the entire article verbatim instead.

Such is the case with the following piece, which appeared originally on website, a smashing new site carrying on in the grand British satire tradition. The article—entitled "Queen's Pants Only Cost Us 0.003p per Year Each"—can be found along with loads of other funny stuff at

Details of the Queen's entire annual underwear budget have been revealed, prompting critics to demand the monarch trim her spending.

Buckingham Palace said Wednesday that the figures, which showed the Queen-sized royal underpants cost each taxpayer just 0.003 pence a year, proved Queen Elizabeth and her household were providing good value for money.

Amounting to around £4.11 per day, critics seized on details of the £1,500 a year underpants bill.

Lawmaker Bill Rutford, a Labour Party Fundraiser, said the monarchy provided "reasonable value" but called the expenditure of luxury underwear as "indefensible."

        "We ought to have more of the royals using normal shops for their everyday expenses. I know for a fact that there are perfectly comfortable women's pants available in Matalan for less than £4.00 for 3 pairs."

A controversial new book by former Buckingham Palace housemaid Mary Simpson has just been released, which looks specifically at the flamboyant underwear tastes of the Royal Family. Her book, entitled The Royals Downstairs, gives stark descriptions of the monarch's underwear tastes and demands.

"Quite frankly I am surprised she's only wasting £1,500 a year on her pant shopping, considering how many pairs she has," explained Ms. Simpson. "She is obsessed with having the newest styles as soon as they hit the cat walks. Sometimes she would have new lines flown in directly from New York just so she could have some before they became common."

Alan Reid, Keeper of the Privy Purse, slammed the accusations made by Ms. Simpson: "This woman is not to be trusted. She is making money through the abuse of a highly trusted and respected position of pant sorter. She left the Palace after a fall out with another member of staff and now she is trying to make money with this nonsense.

"We have acknowledged that HRH could cut back on some of the more expensive garments that she favours, but to suggest that the Queen of England should wear the same pair of pants twice is quite ridiculous."

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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