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Numbers Don't Lie
Blacks as % of University of Missouri Student Body . . . 7
Source: Mizzou Diversity

Jews as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.2
Source: Jewish Virtual Library

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.3
Source: NHIS data in the Washington Post

Muslims as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.1
Source: Muslim Population

Persons with Celiac disease as % of U.S. population: 1
Source: Food Republic

Persons who follow a gluten-free diet, despite not having celiac, as a % of U.S. population: 3
Source: National Foundation for Celiac Awareness

Percent of these people who are deluding themselves: 100
Source: The Pug Bus

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed ona roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Jennifer Aniston Says Brad Pitt Is Gay
Aug 3, 2005 - 6:29
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HOLLYWOOD - In her first interview since her breakup with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston told Vanity Fair she was initially "dumbfounded" when she saw photographs of Pitt with his hair dyed "a really gay blond" shortly after the couple had split. Aniston said she recalled thinking, "Ohmigod, he didn't waste any time coming out, did he?"

According to Aniston, she had suspected for some time that all was not "on the straight and narrow" with Pitt's sexual preferences. While refusing to go into detail, Aniston confessed that Pitt wanted her "to dress up like a man" when the couple had sex. Aniston said she tried to accommodate Pitt at first, but "some of the things he wanted me to wear were quite uncomfortable—not to mention ridiculous looking.

"I didn't mind the Village People and Barbra Streisand CDs, or watching that Kevin Kline movie about the gay high school teacher over and over," said Aniston, "but the accessories were over the top."

Aniston said she finally complained to Pitt about those "accessories," but he told her if she didn't want to "play ball" with him, he would find someone else who would.

"I thought he was bluffing at first," said Aniston, "and that his so-called 'attraction' to Angelina Jolie was just an attempt to gain leverage in our relationship. The next thing I knew, he was photographed playing house with her and visiting a known gay beach in Africa. That really hurt."

Although Aniston struggled to maintain a brave facade in the Vanity Fair interview, she broke down twice during the three-hour session. The first time was when she described her reaction to Pitt's new hair color. The second time was when she recalled her feelings upon realizing that Pitt had contracted AIDS.

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"That story about Brad being hospitalized with viral meningitis didn't fool me," said Aniston. "I know what that's code for."

Aniston said that even before she learned about "Brad's medical condition," she had forgiven Pitt and felt no animosity toward him.

"If he found someone willing to do things I was uncomfortable doing, more power to him—and to her. I will always love Brad, funny accessories and all."

Pitt, who is currently vacationing on Fire Island with Angelina Jolie, could not be reached for comment about Aniston's interview. Pitt's spokeswoman, Cindy Guagenti, issued a terse statement saying Aniston is "seriously delusional if she thinks Brad Pitt is gay, even though there's nothing wrong with being gay, of course. Indeed, Brad remains sincerely grateful for the support of his legions of gay fans."

In related news, Brad Pitt is reported to have purchased an ocean-front condominium in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, a favorite playground destination for members of the Washington, D.C. gay community.

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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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The Fuck It List
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Shit to Give Up Before You Die
♠ Religion
♠ Voting
♠ Seat Belts
♠ Paying for Music and Movies
♠ Sending Holiday Cards
♠ Funerals
♠ Pissing Indoors All the Time
♠ Paying Attention to Stop Signs
♠ Going to Bed Before Midnight
♠ Standing for the National
      Anthem At Sporting Events
♠ Not Parking in Handicapped
      Parking Spaces

There's a Saint for That
image of a saint, name unknownThere's a saint for that, whatever "that" might be. Just click where it hurts you to find out which board-certified saint to call. Breast Implants, burn marks from the grill,, hemorrhoids, and more.
The Pug Bus Interview
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Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolShit happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
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American Atheists—we've even got our own television station now; great source for material pertaining to the war against Christianity, Christmas, and Jesus H. Christ himself
GNAA—the "G" stands for "Gay," you're on your own with the rest
High Times—wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for?
Pirate Bay—indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
SHUN Magazine—The Journal of Contemporary Shame Culture, (Full Fucking Disclosure: I, Phil Maggitti, your editor in briefs at the Pug Bus, have recently begun contributing under an assumed name to this slap in the pubes to everything that's worth shaming about the American dystopia)
Soulseek—no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free
Spectrum Labs—need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid—before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
BTGuard—great VPN service, it's the one that we here at the Pug Bus use, don't go digital shoplifting on your computer without it