Home   Ass Hat Awards   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff   Contact
Search This Site

National Security Agency
The Gang That Couldn't Spy Straight
image of NSA logo with Alfred E. Neumann face superimposedGet your tin foil hats on, kids, the National Security Agency is coming with its mentaloscopy machine. Check the doors and windows, check under the bed, and check here often to find out which of your civil liberties these fools have buggered of late.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1-  -2-


Humor Feed Banner
Jennifer Aniston Says Brad Pitt Is Gay
Aug 3, 2005 - 6:29
an image
HOLLYWOOD - In her first interview since her breakup with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston told Vanity Fair she was initially "dumbfounded" when she saw photographs of Pitt with his hair dyed "a really gay blond" shortly after the couple had split. Aniston said she recalled thinking, "Ohmigod, he didn't waste any time coming out, did he?"

According to Aniston, she had suspected for some time that all was not "on the straight and narrow" with Pitt's sexual preferences. While refusing to go into detail, Aniston confessed that Pitt wanted her "to dress up like a man" when the couple had sex. Aniston said she tried to accommodate Pitt at first, but "some of the things he wanted me to wear were quite uncomfortable—not to mention ridiculous looking.

"I didn't mind the Village People and Barbra Streisand CDs, or watching that Kevin Kline movie about the gay high school teacher over and over," said Aniston, "but the accessories were over the top."

Aniston said she finally complained to Pitt about those "accessories," but he told her if she didn't want to "play ball" with him, he would find someone else who would.

"I thought he was bluffing at first," said Aniston, "and that his so-called 'attraction' to Angelina Jolie was just an attempt to gain leverage in our relationship. The next thing I knew, he was photographed playing house with her and visiting a known gay beach in Africa. That really hurt."

Although Aniston struggled to maintain a brave facade in the Vanity Fair interview, she broke down twice during the three-hour session. The first time was when she described her reaction to Pitt's new hair color. The second time was when she recalled her feelings upon realizing that Pitt had contracted AIDS.

an image
"That story about Brad being hospitalized with viral meningitis didn't fool me," said Aniston. "I know what that's code for."

Aniston said that even before she learned about "Brad's medical condition," she had forgiven Pitt and felt no animosity toward him.

"If he found someone willing to do things I was uncomfortable doing, more power to him—and to her. I will always love Brad, funny accessories and all."

Pitt, who is currently vacationing on Fire Island with Angelina Jolie, could not be reached for comment about Aniston's interview. Pitt's spokeswoman, Cindy Guagenti, issued a terse statement saying Aniston is "seriously delusional if she thinks Brad Pitt is gay, even though there's nothing wrong with being gay, of course. Indeed, Brad remains sincerely grateful for the support of his legions of gay fans."

In related news, Brad Pitt is reported to have purchased an ocean-front condominium in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, a favorite playground destination for members of the Washington, D.C. gay community.



top-of-page link   top of page    teensy, tiny image of printer  printer friendly page

 

Don't Miss the Feral Atheist
Part website, part anti-hero, The Feral Atheist takes a tongue-in-cheeky look at the foibles, follies, and self-righteous fuckups of our god-bothering non-brethren.


Back by Unpopular Demand

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the stones to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolStuff happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.
Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed on a roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.


Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby American Atheists, High Times, Pirate Bay, Soulseek, Spectrum Labs, The Feral Atheist, Vaults of Erowid, WiTopia