Through a rare but infrequent case of cross-mutation, your zip code and DNA will be transformed, and you will be seized with an overwhelming urge to open fire on your coworkers. By wetting your finger and pressing it onto an electric socket, you can transfer the effects of that mutation into an urge to dress like Lady GaGa.
Britney Spears' New CD in Starbucks Tuesday
Aug 4, 2007, 09:08
LOS ANGELES – The long-awaited new Britney Spears CD, Here I Come Again, will go on sale at all Starbucks outlets around the world on Tuesday. A source close to the project told Billboard magazine that Ms. Spears chose Starbucks because “it has always been her refuge” whenever she felt misunderstood.
“No matter what lies the false tabloids were spreading about her, a venti strawberry frappuccino could always put a smile on Britney’s face,” said Ms. Spears’ manager, Billy Kramer.
A spokesperson for Starbucks said the coffee giant had decided to sign Ms. Spears to its new Hear Music label in order to change the perception that Hear is “an assisted- living facility” for heritage acts like Paul McCartney, Joni Mitchell, and James Taylor.
Despite security that was reputed to have been “tighter than a nine-year-old,” Here I Come Again has begun circulating via Pirate Bay and other peer-to-peer sources. If there is, indeed, honor among thieves, the CD is a refreshing mix of balls-to-the-wall house music, brooding trip hop, bright and fizzy techno, and the occasional acoustic ballad. The CD also features a hidden track, the delightful, reggae-infused “Me and My Frap (Don’t Take No Crap).”
Many of the song titles on Here I Come Again—”Strap It On, Girlfriend,” “Rehab Don’t Pay No Rent,” “Drivin’ with the Lights Off”—could have been culled from last year’s headlines. Ms. Spears’ lyrics are similarly up close and personal.
In “Hershey Highway Blues,” she sings: “It’s OK in the front; but I luv it in the back; I like to see my honey with some chocolate on his sack."
In “Mama Does It Doggie Style” Britney shows that she’s not ready to make nice with her mother quite yet: “I know my Momma she ain’t no angel; my momma she gets plenty wild; she told me that when she gets horny, she likes to do it doggie style.”
Other titles on Here I Come Again include “Shavin’ the Night Away,” “(I Want) My Two-headed Lover,” “Hot to Trot,” “Lindsay Gets a Facial,” and “Put It Here.”
In other news, Jessica Simpson told THEM Weekly that she hopes Minneapolis police are able to find the dentist "who did the bad bridge work that killed all them people.”
Through a rare but infrequent case of cross-mutation, your zip code and DNA will be transformed, and you will be seized with an overwhelming urge to open fire on your coworkers. By wetting your finger and pressing it onto an electric socket, you can transfer the effects of that mutation into an urge to dress like Lady GaGa.
