Postcards from the Pug Bus                
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  God Chides President Bush Over Intelligent Design
        Aug 7, 2005 - 9:07
       
an image
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a statement faxed to the editor of US Weekly magazine, God chided President George W. Bush for using the theory of intelligent design "to suck up to people who claim they speak for me or, worse yet, people who claim that I have spoken directly to them."

God explained that He had chosen the popular celebrity magazine as the forum in which to speak because "celebrity is the new religion in America." Then he proceeded to criticize the president's belief that the theory of intelligent design should be taught alongside Darwin's theory of evolution in schools.

"Darwin's theory is a rational attempt at understanding and explaining the workings of the universe," wrote God. "It's one of the more significant intellectual achievements of mankind. The intelligent design theory, on the other hand, consists of five words: God must have done it. How much teaching does that require? It isn't exactly rocket science."

In God's judgment "the theory of intelligent design is often the first resort of people who are too lazy to think a problem through for themselves." What's more, he argued, intelligent design "falls apart like a cheap thong" if it's applied to the war in Iraq, the Dukes of Hazard movie, Kevin Federline Spears, Alexander, or the entire cast of Viva La Bam.

"Intelligent design shouldn't have to take the rap for those follies," wrote God. "In fact, I resent people trying to lay those trips on me. I much prefer Darwin's theory because it explains the occasional cold sore on the red carpet of life without editorializing."

No sooner had God issued his rebuke of President Bush, than Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) hastened to align himself with his alleged creator. Santorum issued a press release saying that intelligent design "lacked scientific credibility and should not be taught in science classes."

Not surprisingly, Santorum was attacked by Christian fanatics who took time from their fervent demonizing of Bill Frist (R-TN) to remind Santorum that in a CBS poll conducted last November, two out of three Americans said they wanted creationism taught alongside evolution in schools.

"That's what makes the senator's position so genuine," said one Santorum aide. "It's easy for God to trash intelligent design. God isn't running for re-election."

In other news, God reported that the Verizon caller id package He had installed a few months ago has "significantly decreased" the number of annoying, superficial prayer requests, particularly from sports fans.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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