title of web site: postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball
Search This Site

Deplorably Speaking
Our deplorable editor in briefs holds forth on a variety of topics from the ruination of sports to the frog-marching of male college students to the idiocies of third-wave feminism to whatever.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Lindsay Lohan Elle Interview Recalls Happier Times
Aug 7, 2007 - 10:10
an image
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - If it's August, Lindsay Lohan is selling magazines for Elle. For the second August in a row another issue of Elle featuring the fully loaded Herbie star hits the newsstands, but what a difference a year makes.

This time around Ms. Lohan is on the defensive, assuring Elle's readers not only that the paparazzi are the cause of all her troubles but also that if she wears a dress, she wears panties—except maybe for that one time when she was in Venice and she slipped into the first Prada dress that came to hand.

Last year, however, was a bridge of another color. Last year was all rainbows and roses and crisp apple kittens. Therefore, as a public service to all those Lindsay Lohan fans who complain that nobody ever prints the good news about her, we present the following article, which appeared in the August 9, 2006, edition of Postcards from the Pug Bus.

Lindsay Lohan told Elle magazine that she wants to follow in the footsteps of her idol, Marilyn Monroe, by "entertaining our brave fighting men one soldier at a time."

an image
In a penetrating interview that lands like a smart bomb on newsstands today, the Herbie Fully Loaded actress said, "I want to do what Marilyn did when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops by herself. It's so amazing seeing one woman with just her entourage going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be."

Ms. Lohan, 20, apparently also aspires to be a hawkish Democrat. She revealed to Elle that she had been trying to visit Iraq with Senator Hillary Clinton "for like so long. I've TM'd her any number of times saying 'next weekend's cool for me, girl,' but Hillary acted like she thought it was too dangerous or whatever."

A spokesman for the former first lady acknowledged that Ms. Lohan—or someone purporting to be Ms. Lohan—had expressed an interest in going to Iraq.

"We get those kinds of text messages all the time," said the Clinton spokesman. "We usually blow them off by suggesting that if they really want to go, they could pursue doing so through the USO (United Services Organization).

"Are you saying that really was Lindsay Lohan? Is she a registered Democrat?"

an image
Reaction to Ms. Lohan's idea was equally skeptical in Hollywood.

"I'm not surprised that old firecrotch is looking for new plows for her furrow," laughed Brandon Davis. "She's done every young dude in the industry, and even a few old ones like Jeremy Piven and Bruce 'Die Soft' Willis."

Other observers, while less caustic, were unimpressed.

"That chick spends so much time in the hospital for heat exhaustion, what's she going to do in Iraq?" said one starlet who asked to remain anonymous. "Does she plan to entertain the troops in her hospital bed?"

Ms. Lohan, however, insists she is serious about going to Iraq.

"I'm not afraid of going," she said. "My security guard is taking me at a gun range, and I'm going to start shooting lessons. He says if I'm going to go there, I should know how to shoot."

Elsewhere, news of Ms. Lohan's proposed visit to Iraq was greeted with enthusiasm by one Marine on a peace keeping mission in Baghdad. "I've always been a huge fan of hers," said the nineteen-year-old Marine, "and I love her husband Kid Rock's music. I hope she brings him with her."

More Articles by This Author

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

The Gift of GAB
image of GAB avatarA pox on those social justice warriors and you too, GoDaddy. We know who your daddy is. GAB is making a comeback. Can the South be far behind?
Back by Unpopular Demand
image of phil maggitti standing next to a sign that reads last chance
Read any two articles, get the third one free!
Norton Internet Security Won't Let Customers Uninstall
Trump Praises Pug Bus for Official English Policy
Pippa Middleton's Ass Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

What Would Neitzsche Do?
image of F. NeitzscheForget Jesus H. Christ. Who gives a shit, besides Carson Wentz, what Jesus would do? In order to survive in a postmodern world, ask what would Neitzsche do.

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo

© Copyright 2007 by YourSite.com