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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Pat Robertson Advocates Killing Obese People
Aug 24, 2005 - 9:37
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HAMPTON ROADS, Vir. - Televangelist Pat Robertson says the United States is wasting precious resources on diets that don't work and "needs to consider other alternatives" in combating obesity.

Speaking on his Christian news-talk television show The 700 Club, Robertson said this country needs to launch a full scale War on Obesity, similar to the War on Terrorism and the War on Drugs; and if that means shooting obese people "to put them out of their misery," then so be it.

"Jesus don't love ugly, and let's face it, fat people are just plain ugly,'' said the seventy-five-year-old Robertson during his Tuesday night broadcast.

"We don't need to spend $100 billion every year on diet plans, pills, and how-to books," Robertson continued, "especially when research shows that nine out of ten fat people who lose weight put it all back on and then some eventually. It's a whole lot easier to have some covert operative do the job and get it over with. We have the ability to take obesity out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. A few well-placed bullets in the likes of Rosie O'Donnell will inspire people to get right with their weight real fast."

Robertson, who brings the word of The Lord to one million viewers daily via The 700 Club, said Jesus had visited with him regarding "the plague of obesity" over the land.

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Pat Robertson has obesity in his sights.
"He told me He would stop entering fat people's hearts until they had reached their target weight and maintained it for at least six months," said Robertson. "I gave a hearty amen to that. Can you imagine what it's like inside a fat person's heart? That's enough to creep anybody out."

The American Medical Association (AMA) and the Bush Administration were quick to distance themselves from Robertson's remarks.

"Although we acknowledge obesity as a leading cause of excess weight," said Cindy Stoudt, an AMA spokesperson, "we cannot condone mercy killing no matter how civic minded its intent. The right to life in all its sizes must be respected."

Deb McCormack, a spokeswoman for the Office of Economic Opportunity, said Robertson's remarks were "inappropriate" because they failed to consider "the impact of the eradication of obesity on employment in the weight-loss sector in this country."

In other news, Courtney Love has petitioned a judge for early release from her court-ordered rehab. Love claims that further incarceration could cost her substantial income from lost endorsements.

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