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lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.” Margaret Thatcher
People who claim that meat should be used as a condiment ought to be reminded that vegetables work best as garnishes.
According to Consumer Reports, the Vizio M-Series Quantum 55-inch TV is rated "best" by rioters in Portlandia, who give it high fives for portability (only 35.6 lbs) as well as a generous $659 discount at all participating and non-participating stores
From hair plugs to butt plugs, the political "awakening" of J. Robinette Biden
The Ultimate White Privilege: Only white people can forgive other white people for their racism
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday

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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Postmodern Horoscopes
Presenting the astrological world's only postmodern horoscope . . . the one grand narrative you can believe in . . . guaranteed to deconstruct your future before it happens. Click, poke, tap, or finger here, Jacques.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Apologizing for Anything
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Nicolas Cage Wicker Man Action Figure Hot at Pier 1
Sep 5, 2006 - 5:56
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FORT WORTH, Texas - Reps for Nicolas Cage and Warner Bros. have woven a nifty new tie-in for the release of their latest film, a remake of the cult caper, The Wicker Man. Looks like Mr. Cage wants you to see his end-of-summer sizzler so much, he's willing to apply a little pier pressure.

The star of action blockbusters such as Peggy Sue Got Married, The Weatherman, and Captain Corelli's Mandolin is the model for a line of Wicker Man action figures sold exclusively at America's #1 rattan retailer, Pier 1 Imports.

According to a joint press release, "This September it's time to synchronize your sundials because Pier 1 Imports and Warner Bros. have teamed up to turn your favorite crafty cult character into a crafty cool toy. Stop by today and pick up your very own Wicker Man free gift with the purchase of $50 or more. Better hurry, though, this Wicker Man is hot and is only docked at Pier 1 for a limited engagement!"

Sources at Warner Bros. elaborated on the decision to promote Cage as a rattan Rambo.

"We wanted to forgo the usual Happy Meal tchotchke," said one well-known publicist. "Like the movie, Nick's got this otherworldly vibe. Our audience test results showed that ladies love him, kids love him, young guys want to be like him, and old guys want to whittle him. We couldn't go wrong with a wicker Cage."

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Another studio source explained, "With the movie we want to say, 'BOO!' With the toy we want to say, 'bamBOO!'"

A rep for Pier 1 Imports, the Texas-based purveyor of global unique chic, stressed that quality craftsmanship will ensure that this doll is no basket case.

"We use an eco-friendly rattan in a double-bias weave around a frame of kiln dried hardwood, all made by skilled artisans in Jakarta. Plus with Thai teak for the articulated joints—you can make it do your very own ritual dance."

The retailer hinted that although Wicker Man is planned as a one-time promotion, a long-term partnership would be no sacrifice.

"We see the Nicolas Cage Wicker Man line as a great fit, perfect for back to school. If this proves popular, we see Wicker Man backpacks, lunchboxes, iPod covers—who knows?"

And what about something for those little pagan princesses bored with Barbie?

"We also have a Wicker Lady that'll have 'em, forgive the pun, Ellen Burstyn into flames."

We spoke with director and "wicker fanatic" Neil LaBute, whom most credit for rallying the rattan direction to Cage. LaBute denies credit but admits his enthusiasm for the natural furniture fiber.

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"We had them do the huge Wicker Man for the movie, and I loved it. One of the protos is actually in my backyard It's a great place to clear my head. The inside was a perfect fit for the papasan chair I've had since college."

So did LaBute have any advice for his leading man about becoming a 12-inch woven wonder?

"I just told him to do do that voo-do that he do so well."

Was there any concern from Pier 1 that a fright flick tie-in might not sit well among their relaxed rockers and simple settees? Didn't they worry about scaring off customers?

LaBute looked surprised.

"You do remember the Kirstie Alley commercials, right?"

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