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Your 420 Ganjascope©

Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological


Support the Penultimate Day Campaign

Join the Pug Bus in its crusade to have December 30 declared National Penultimate Day. Our goal is to rescue penultimate from the puss-warted clutches of abusers of the language. What's more, we can give that snooty "Auld Lang Syne" business a well-deserved kick in the shorts. For the ultimate—and the penultimate—news about our glorious campaign, click here.


The Grammar Prick

Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this.""


The Fuck It List

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Ten Things You Should Fllip the Bird to Before You Die

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Your Bucket List
  7. Pissing Indoors
  8. Hugging
  9. Stupid-ass Old Fart Hats
10. Going to Bed Early


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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Steve Irwin Replaced by Ted Nugent on AnimalPlanet Series
Sep 11, 2006 - 8:32
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The face of a drug-free America.
SILVER SPRING, Md. - Discovery Communications, which owns and operates the Animal Planet network, announced yesterday that it had signed Ted Nugent to replace network personality Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, who died when he was attacked by a sting ray on the Great Barrier Reef in northeastern Queensland state last week.

According to Discovery's CEO, Rolf Bindenhammer, Mr. Nugent was the obvious choice to replace the forty-four-year-old Irwin.

"Ted's certainly a larger-than-life personality," said Mr. Bindenhammer in a prepared statement, "and like Steve, he's a dedicated conservationist."

Mr. Bindenhammer said also that he expected Mr. Nugent, who is known as the Motor City Madman, to bring a "refreshing new edge" to the Crocodile Hunter's Animal Planet series.

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Yes, Virginia, I bagged Santa Claus."
"We have always been sensitive to the fact that Crocodile Hunter was something of a misnomer," said Mr. Bindenhammer. "Steve didn't exactly hunt crocs, what he did was bother them. Ted, on the other hand, has assured us that 'any damn critter' he hunts will wind up on the grill by the end of the program."

Mr. Nugent, 58, could not be reached for comment.

"Ted's busy hunting wetbacks down near Nogales," said a gentleman named Snake, who answered the phone at Mr. Nugent's Texas ranch.

"I know he's excited about the chance to show kids what a real hunter looks like. Ted doesn't have much time for them pretty boys in pressed khaki's. What the hell kind of role model is that for hunters?"

The outspoken Mr. Nugent apparently doesn't have time either for people who worry about the animals he hunts. Earlier this month at the last stop on his "Unleash the Beast" tour, he went off on a reporter who asked him what goes through an animal's mind when it sees a hunter.

"Animals ain't capable of thinking, you asshole," screamed Mr. Nugent. "All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next? Who am I going to fuck next? Can I run fast enough to get away?' They're just like the French in that regard."



Next Oprah: Hunters' wives discuss sleeping-bag sex.


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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


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Although he no longer self-identifies with the basket of deplorables, our editor in briefs is still considered a basket case—and deplorable—in many precincts. He is determined to outlive that twat Mick Jagger, and he believes, to paraphrase Phish, "You've got one life, blog on!"

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Read any two articles, get the third one free!

Norton Internet Security Won't Let Customers Uninstall

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Pippa Middleton's Ass Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .
The Pug Bus Interview
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What Would Nietzsche Do?
photo of Friedrich NietzscheForget Jesus H. Christ. Who, besides Carson Wentz, cares what Jesus would do? To survive in a postmodern word, ask yourself instead What would Nietzsche do?.
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Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it


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