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Numbers Don't Lie
Blacks as % of University of Missouri Student Body . . . 7
Source: Mizzou Diversity

Jews as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.2
Source: Jewish Virtual Library

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.3
Source: NHIS data in the Washington Post

Muslims as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.1
Source: Muslim Population

Persons with Celiac disease as % of U.S. population: 1
Source: Food Republic

Persons who follow a gluten-free diet, despite not having celiac, as a % of U.S. population: 3
Source: National Foundation for Celiac Awareness

Percent of these people who are deluding themselves: 100
Source: The Pug Bus

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed ona roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Britney Spears Fans Will Stage Nude Protest Rally
Sep 20, 2007 - 11:38
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LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears fans will stage a nude protest rally in front of the Staples Center this Saturday in support of "every mother's right" to go naked around her children.

The rally, which kicks off at noon, is sponsored by MUFF (Mothers Undressed in Freedom Forever), a pro-home-nudity group that counts many Britney Spears fans among its members.

Although MUFF was denied a demonstration permit by the City of Los Angeles, MUFF president, Cynthia Long, said her group was prepared to go to jail to show its support for Ms. Spears.

"I have two little boys about the same ages as Britney's, and I'm always getting naked in front of them," said Ms. Long, 28. "I mean, I'd look pretty stupid wearing clothes when we jump in the bath tub together.

"The establishment wants to take Britney down, but they've gone too far this time," said Ms. Long. "Britney doesn't need some judge to tell her what she can and can't wear in her own house. I could understand if Britney's kids were, like, eleven and twelve, maybe, but at their age? Is the judge afraid they're going to go blind or what?"

According to Ms. Long, MUFF expects several hundred members from the West Coast to attend Saturday's rally. Many of them plan to bring their children.

"We've also heard from a number of C-list celebrities like Vanessa Hudgens, who wants to attend even though she doesn't have children," said Ms. Long. "Vanessa sent us an email pointing out that you don't have to have kids to enjoy being naked."

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For their part Los Angeles police have vowed to arrest anyone who violates the city's dress codes. That includes members of both MUFF and BALD (Bare-Assed, Loud, and Daring), an ACT-UP style pro-nudity group that plans to bare it all for Britney's sake on Saturday. Unlike MUFF, however, BALD does not respect age or common decency when it comes to going nude.

"We don't draw any chicken-shit lines," said Marlo Sutphen, recording secretary for BALD.

"Boundaries are for chumps. We think Britney should go around naked in front of her kids no matter how old they are if she wants to. Anyone can flash a little booty in front of a two-year-old, but greeting your daughter's prom date in the raw, that takes courage. My daughter still hasn't spoken to me since I did that, and her goddamn prom was in May."

In related news, Mothers Undressed in Freedom Forever says it expects a surprise guest at this Saturday's demonstration, but group president, Cynthia Long, would not comment on rumors that the surprise guest may be Britney Spears herself.

If you liked this one, please tell a friend. Didn't like it? Tell a cop, your minister, the FCC, the NSA, or the HMFIC down at the American Family Association.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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The Fuck It List
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Shit to Give Up Before You Die
♠ Religion
♠ Voting
♠ Seat Belts
♠ Paying for Music and Movies
♠ Sending Holiday Cards
♠ Funerals
♠ Pissing Indoors All the Time
♠ Paying Attention to Stop Signs
♠ Going to Bed Before Midnight
♠ Standing for the National
      Anthem At Sporting Events
♠ Not Parking in Handicapped
      Parking Spaces

There's a Saint for That
image of a saint, name unknownThere's a saint for that, whatever "that" might be. Just click where it hurts you to find out which board-certified saint to call. Breast Implants, burn marks from the grill,, hemorrhoids, and more.
The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolShit happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby

American Atheists—we've even got our own television station now; great source for material pertaining to the war against Christianity, Christmas, and Jesus H. Christ himself
GNAA—the "G" stands for "Gay," you're on your own with the rest
High Times—wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for?
Pirate Bay—indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
SHUN Magazine—The Journal of Contemporary Shame Culture, (Full Fucking Disclosure: I, Phil Maggitti, your editor in briefs at the Pug Bus, have recently begun contributing under an assumed name to this slap in the pubes to everything that's worth shaming about the American dystopia)
Soulseek—no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free
Spectrum Labs—need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid—before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
BTGuard—great VPN service, it's the one that we here at the Pug Bus use, don't go digital shoplifting on your computer without it