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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

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Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
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  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Brad Pitt to Star in Barbaro the Musical
Sep 25, 2007 - 8:32
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KENNETT SQUARE, Penna. - Brad Pitt, fresh off his triumph in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, is set to star in a horse opera of another color: the inspiring story of Barbaro, the super horse who captured the lonely eyes of a nation.

Thanks to the vision of Smegma Productions and its founder, Mr. Pitt, Barbaro will be running on Broadway. Mr. Pitt announced yesterday that he will produce, direct, and star in Barbaro the Musical, which is expected to go into rehearsals this winter.

"I want to do this for all the people whose lives have been touched by this magnificent horse," said Mr. Pitt, "for all the children who go to bed at night snug in their Barbaro pajamas; for all the teenagers with Barbaro ringtones and tattoos; and for all the middle-age women, whether they used to ride English or western, who have turned their homes into Barbaro shrines."

Mr. Pitt made these remarks during a press conference at Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center, the large animal hospital where Barbaro staged his valiant race against death, the only foe he could not outrun.

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Grief-stricken horses at the New Bolton Center consoling themselves at the news of Barbaro's death.
Accompanied by Elton John and Tim Rice, who will craft the music and lyrics for the eighteen songs in Barbaro the Musical, Mr. Pitt noted that Barbaro was "larger than life and even larger in death."

"Barbaro was truly hung like a horse," added Mr. John, who was dressed as the world's portliest jockey in the blue and green colors of Barbaro's owners, Roy and Gretchen Jackson, and a rainbow of other colors as well.

"He had universal appeal, even to those of us who ride side-saddle," said Mr. John, slapping a whip against his leg.

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"It seemed to me your life was ruined by a cannon in the wind."
Mr. John also revealed that he and Mr. Rice had already completed three songs together: "Cannon in the Wind," "Wither Thou Goest," and "Almost Saved My Horse Tonight," which will be sung by Meryl Streep, who plays Gretchen Jackson in Barbaro the Musical.

Mr. Pitt, who will play Dean Richardson, the surgeon who worked to save Barbaro's life, said the action in Barbaro the Musical begins two weeks following the horse's death, "when reports of the first Barbaro sightings began to appear on" The play will also feature several of the miracles that have been attributed to Barbaro.

In other news, John Mark Karr, self-confessed killer of JonBenet Ramsey, has issued a press release saying that he did not kidnap Madeline McCann, but he might know who did.

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