postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
 

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
She ain't roaring any more.
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
White Fragility: having a low threshold for high-decible music about 'hos
We don't need to defund the police, we need to de-criminalize any police action necessary for keeping public order
1 + 1 = 3 How's that for non-racist, non-patriarchal math, you twat?
Are we going too fast for mouth-breathing liberals?
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday


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The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
Because you are highly possessive, adore your own company, and are inclined to mate for life, you begin a campaign to have self-sex marriages legalized. Your slogan, "Be part of the problem and part of the solution," is too clever by half, and your campaign comes to grief when you are caught making an unauthorized deposit at a sperm bank. More Horoscopes

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Brad Pitt to Star in Barbaro the Musical
Sep 25, 2007 - 8:32
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KENNETT SQUARE, Penna. - Brad Pitt, fresh off his triumph in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, is set to star in a horse opera of another color: the inspiring story of Barbaro, the super horse who captured the lonely eyes of a nation.

Thanks to the vision of Smegma Productions and its founder, Mr. Pitt, Barbaro will be running on Broadway. Mr. Pitt announced yesterday that he will produce, direct, and star in Barbaro the Musical, which is expected to go into rehearsals this winter.

"I want to do this for all the people whose lives have been touched by this magnificent horse," said Mr. Pitt, "for all the children who go to bed at night snug in their Barbaro pajamas; for all the teenagers with Barbaro ringtones and tattoos; and for all the middle-age women, whether they used to ride English or western, who have turned their homes into Barbaro shrines."

Mr. Pitt made these remarks during a press conference at Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center, the large animal hospital where Barbaro staged his valiant race against death, the only foe he could not outrun.

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Grief-stricken horses at the New Bolton Center consoling themselves at the news of Barbaro's death.
Accompanied by Elton John and Tim Rice, who will craft the music and lyrics for the eighteen songs in Barbaro the Musical, Mr. Pitt noted that Barbaro was "larger than life and even larger in death."

"Barbaro was truly hung like a horse," added Mr. John, who was dressed as the world's portliest jockey in the blue and green colors of Barbaro's owners, Roy and Gretchen Jackson, and a rainbow of other colors as well.

"He had universal appeal, even to those of us who ride side-saddle," said Mr. John, slapping a whip against his leg.

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"It seemed to me your life was ruined by a cannon in the wind."
Mr. John also revealed that he and Mr. Rice had already completed three songs together: "Cannon in the Wind," "Wither Thou Goest," and "Almost Saved My Horse Tonight," which will be sung by Meryl Streep, who plays Gretchen Jackson in Barbaro the Musical.

Mr. Pitt, who will play Dean Richardson, the surgeon who worked to save Barbaro's life, said the action in Barbaro the Musical begins two weeks following the horse's death, "when reports of the first Barbaro sightings began to appear on welovebarbaro.com." The play will also feature several of the miracles that have been attributed to Barbaro.



In other news, John Mark Karr, self-confessed killer of JonBenet Ramsey, has issued a press release saying that he did not kidnap Madeline McCann, but he might know who did.
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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.



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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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Rhetorical questions and a lot of rhetorical answers, too. Take home, no time limit, grade your own. More!"

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.