You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Madonna, Angelina Jolie Set the Pace in Adoption Chic
Oct 13, 2006, 06:55
Shawl by Out of Africa Ltd. Lips by Angelina Jolie.
PARIS - The hottest trends are in from the Spring 2007 catwalks, and Celebratty Chatter had front-row access to what is emerging as this season's must-have accessory, the African baby.
From Alexander McQueen to Zac Posen, any designer worth his weight in gold lame showed a Third World tot in his collection. Whether swung and swaddled in a matching beach tote or clutched coolly under your arm for a night out, this look is new, new, new. Forget about that Chinese girl castoff or Cambodian crack orphan. They're just so 2002.
And what's truly wonderful is the range of African babies on the runway this season. You're sure to find one that looks flattering on you. These handcrafted beauties aren't just for size 2 and below!
Better act quickly, though. Fashion swells are snatching up these glam adoptees almost quicker than they can be orphaned.
Bag by Marc Jacobs. Bag stuffer by Orphans R Us.
Madonna's already been sighted at Balenciaga, perusing the racks of limited edition motherless Malawi's, and Brangelina has been cleaning house at Louis Vuitton for their customized Congo collection, where each tyke comes tattooed with the classic LV pattern.
If you're lucky to grab one, here are some of our faves from the collections:
Do you know the way to St. Tropez? Those liberal sixties are back at Pucci, where designer Julio Espada didn't limit a rainbow of colors to the signature prints only. With babies from the Sudan, Angola, and Zambia, your choice is sure to be made in the shade.
On your way to that gala benefit at the Met? Don't forget junior, says Oscar de la Renta. His nifty evening looks are just the thing when you're modestly receiving all those kudos for taking in that precious urchin. And after you're sure everyone's noticed the little Tanzania trophy? Just tuck it away in that pretty poof skirt before the curtain rises. C' est magnifique!
As usual, Chanel is the last word in haute humanitarianism. By quilting the kiddies in oodles of black, white, and intertwining Cs, Karl Lagerfeld turned them into little bundles of tres chic. And what better way to show off those stretch marks you never had to suffer than a glittery pair of short shorts? That's how you turn l'enfant terrible into l'enfant to die for.
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
