title of web site: postcards from the pug bus
 
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Your sex life is a shareware program about to expire. One-size-fits-all gloves don't come in your size. If dreams took human form, yours would be wearing toe tags. The planets, the traffic lights, even the local Girl Scout troop will line up against you. Have you insulted one of the mothers of the gods recently or what?

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Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Ann Coulter, Bill Maher Sex Video Leaked on Web
Oct 13, 2007 - 1:33
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WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Political commentator and steamy, right-wing sex goddess Ann Coulter has never been loath to use her sexuality or her tongue to sell books.

She has called John Edwards a faggot, insinuated that Hillary Clinton is a "flabby-ass dyke," suggested that widows of 9/11 victims "would go without panties to their daughters' first communions if it meant extending their fifteen minutes of fame," and called for the immediate conversion of all "bagel eaters" to Christianity.

Ms. Coulter has also appeared nude in Esquire and the NRA Journal, but even her most devout fans are wondering if she has finally gone too far.

What has Ms. Coulter's followers in a fit is a sex video starring her, Bill Maher, and a life-size cardboard cutout of Tucker Carlson. The half-hour video, entitled How to Have Sex with a Liberal (If You Must), was leaked to THEM Weekly magazine, which, after several viewings, has vouched for its authenticity, "especially that of Tucker Carlson."

In the video a surprisingly athletic Ms. Coulter and an obviously wasted Mr. Maher play a sexually charged version of "New Rules," the popular segment that closes Mr. Maher's HBO series, Real Time with Bill Maher. The likeness of Mr. Carlson apparently plays no role in the proceedings apart from standing around and looking supercilious.

Ms. Coulter's new rules for making love to a liberal require Mr. Maher, who is half Jewish, to repeat liberal-bashing statements in order to win sexual favors from Ms. Coulter. Repeating "Jeanine Garofalo is an ugly crack whore," for example, earned Mr. Maher one-minute of tonsil hockey.

Gradually, the statements Mr. Maher is obliged to repeat grow more outrageous until, in the video's climax, Ms. Coulter, who is dressed in black leather dominatrix drag, cracks a whip and flicks cigarette ashes on Mr. Maher while demanding that he shout, "Rudy Giuliani will make the best successor to George W. Bush, the greatest president of the twenty-first century."

After Mr. Maher complies, Ms. Coulter removes her leather studded thong, tosses it over the Tucker Carlson cutout, and exhorts Mr. Maher to "use me like I'm your favorite hookah."

As the couple thrashes about on a waterbed covered with a gigantic American flag like a pair of randy delegates at a GOP convention, the West Point marching band plays a rousing version of Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud to Be an American" in the background.


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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


Unpaid Political Endorsement
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Postcards from the Pug Bus is happy to endorse Bob Whitaker, the presidential nominee of the American Freedom Party.

Our decision was prompted in part by the fuss over the Oscars being too white, the fuss over Peyton Manning being too white, and the fuss over Cam Newton, who is too black. We hold no brief against single-issue politics or race-based advocacy groups or television awards. We simply want to make sure our team isn't sucking hind titty at the public trough. As always, it's "root, hog, or die."


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