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Numbers That Wag the Dog
Jews as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.2
Source: Jewish Virtual Library

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.3
Source: NHIS data in the Washington Post

Persons with Celiac disease as % of U.S. population: 1
Source: Food Republic

Persons who follow a gluten-free diet, despite not having celiac, as a % of U.S. population: 3
Source: National Foundation for Celiac Awareness

Percent of these people who are deluding themselves: 100
Source: The Pug Bus

Official Carly Fiorina
C-Bomb Counter™
The Donald was right: Who could vote for that mug? Imagine seeing that cowpie with eyes on the front page of your newspaper in the morning. The only thing worse would be seeing that cowpie with eyes in your bed in the morning. She's a two-bagger, for sure. She's also a devout foe of the word cunt, though she gives every appearance of being one.Indeed,a source close to the Fiorina campaign revealed recently that if old grumblemug gets elected, she'll make the use of that word in any public space a felony. Thus we feel obliged to introduce the Official Carly Fiorina C-Bomb Counter, which reports the number of times the C-Bomb has been used any place in America since you landed on this page. (Figures do not include uses by Donald Trump, who calls women cunts all the time.)

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1-  -2-

Humor Feed Banner

Ann Coulter, Bill Maher Sex Video Leaked on Web
Oct 13, 2007 - 1:33
an image
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Political commentator and steamy, right-wing sex goddess Ann Coulter has never been loath to use her sexuality or her tongue to sell books.

She has called John Edwards a faggot, insinuated that Hillary Clinton is a "flabby-ass dyke," suggested that widows of 9/11 victims "would go without panties to their daughters' first communions if it meant extending their fifteen minutes of fame," and called for the immediate conversion of all "bagel eaters" to Christianity.

Ms. Coulter has also appeared nude in Esquire and the NRA Journal, but even her most devout fans are wondering if she has finally gone too far.

What has Ms. Coulter's followers in a fit is a sex video starring her, Bill Maher, and a life-size cardboard cutout of Tucker Carlson. The half-hour video, entitled How to Have Sex with a Liberal (If You Must), was leaked to THEM Weekly magazine, which, after several viewings, has vouched for its authenticity, "especially that of Tucker Carlson."

In the video a surprisingly athletic Ms. Coulter and an obviously wasted Mr. Maher play a sexually charged version of "New Rules," the popular segment that closes Mr. Maher's HBO series, Real Time with Bill Maher. The likeness of Mr. Carlson apparently plays no role in the proceedings apart from standing around and looking supercilious.

Ms. Coulter's new rules for making love to a liberal require Mr. Maher, who is half Jewish, to repeat liberal-bashing statements in order to win sexual favors from Ms. Coulter. Repeating "Jeanine Garofalo is an ugly crack whore," for example, earned Mr. Maher one-minute of tonsil hockey.

Gradually, the statements Mr. Maher is obliged to repeat grow more outrageous until, in the video's climax, Ms. Coulter, who is dressed in black leather dominatrix drag, cracks a whip and flicks cigarette ashes on Mr. Maher while demanding that he shout, "Rudy Giuliani will make the best successor to George W. Bush, the greatest president of the twenty-first century."

After Mr. Maher complies, Ms. Coulter removes her leather studded thong, tosses it over the Tucker Carlson cutout, and exhorts Mr. Maher to "use me like I'm your favorite hookah."

As the couple thrashes about on a waterbed covered with a gigantic American flag like a pair of randy delegates at a GOP convention, the West Point marching band plays a rousing version of Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud to Be an American" in the background.

If you liked this one, please tell a friend. Didn't like it? Tell a cop, your minister, the FCC, the NSA, or the HMFIC down at the American Family Association.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


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Shit to Give Up Before You Die

☻Seat Belts
☻Paying for Music and Movies
☻Holiday Celebrations
☻Pissing Indoors All the Time
☻Paying Attention to Stop Signs
☻Going to Bed Before Midnight.
☻Standing for the fucking
      National Anthem at Sporting
☻Not Parking in Handicapped
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There's a Saint for That
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The Pug Bus Interview
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Shortcuts to Good Karma
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Sites for Sore Eyes
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High Times
Pirate Bay
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Vaults of Erowid