Search Caitlyn The World's First Transgender Search Engine
Your Daily Horoscope (Ramp Accessible)
Your sex life is a shareware program about to expire. One-size-fits-all gloves don't come in your size. If dreams took human form, yours would be wearing toe tags. The planets, the traffic lights, even the local Girl Scout troop will line up against you. Have you insulted one of the mothers of the gods recently or what?
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.>
Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Strike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.
Ann Coulter, Bill Maher Sex Video Leaked on Web Oct 13, 2007 - 1:33
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Political commentator and steamy, right-wing sex goddess Ann Coulter has never been loath to use her sexuality or her tongue to sell books.
She has called John Edwards a faggot, insinuated that Hillary Clinton is a "flabby-ass dyke," suggested that widows of 9/11 victims "would go without panties to their daughters' first communions if it meant extending their fifteen minutes of fame," and called for the immediate conversion of all "bagel eaters" to Christianity.
Ms. Coulter has also appeared nude in Esquire and the NRA Journal, but even her most devout fans are wondering if she has finally gone too far.
What has Ms. Coulter's followers in a fit is a sex video starring her, Bill Maher, and a life-size cardboard cutout of Tucker Carlson. The half-hour video, entitled How to Have Sex with a Liberal (If You Must), was leaked to THEM Weekly magazine, which, after several viewings, has vouched for its authenticity, "especially that of Tucker Carlson."
In the video a surprisingly athletic Ms. Coulter and an obviously wasted Mr. Maher play a sexually charged version of "New Rules," the popular segment that closes Mr. Maher's HBO series, Real Time with Bill Maher. The likeness of Mr. Carlson apparently plays no role in the proceedings apart from standing around and looking supercilious.
Ms. Coulter's new rules for making love to a liberal require Mr. Maher, who is half Jewish, to repeat liberal-bashing statements in order to win sexual favors from Ms. Coulter. Repeating "Jeanine Garofalo is an ugly crack whore," for example, earned Mr. Maher one-minute of tonsil hockey.
Gradually, the statements Mr. Maher is obliged to repeat grow more outrageous until, in the video's climax, Ms. Coulter, who is dressed in black leather dominatrix drag, cracks a whip and flicks cigarette ashes on Mr. Maher while demanding that he shout, "Rudy Giuliani will make the best successor to George W. Bush, the greatest president of the twenty-first century."
After Mr. Maher complies, Ms. Coulter removes her leather studded thong, tosses it over the Tucker Carlson cutout, and exhorts Mr. Maher to "use me like I'm your favorite hookah."
As the couple thrashes about on a waterbed covered with a gigantic American flag like a pair of randy delegates at a GOP convention, the West Point marching band plays a rousing version of Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud to Be an American" in the background.
We have all heard the jokes about Henry 8 of England beheading his wives because he was looking for a little different head himself. If our knowledge of Hammerin' Hank stopped there, however, our lives would be the poorer. Henry the Swordsman and his wives, their families, lovers, ex-husbands, ladies in waiting, and ladies in heat (many of whom were the king's mistresses) constituted a cluster-fuck version of Camelot because they certainly came a lot.
1. Catherine of Aragon, the __________ (first, last, second-from-the-right) wife of Henry 8 was previously married to Henry's __________ (brother, son, agent).
2. Catherine claimed that her first marriage had never been __________ ("well and truly blessed," conducted in Latin, "well and truly consummated").
3. When Catherine and Henry 8 were betrothed, Henry was too young to __________ (marry; drive a carriage alone after dark; sit his O levels).
4. Some historians claim that Henry's second wife, Anne Boleyn, had __________ (a sixth finger, a third nipple, bleeding hemorrhoids).
5. The Rolling Stones song __________ ("Under My Thumb," "Bitch," "Brown Sugar") was written about Henry's fourth wife, Anne of Cleeves.
6. The only one of Henry's wives to be buried with him was __________ (Catherine Parr, Jane Seymour, neither of the above).
7. Henry 8 referred to Anne of Cleeves as __________ (a Flanders mare, one gassy old cow, a dyke in a blanket).
8. When Kathryn Howard, 19, married Henry, 49, she was __________ (no longer even pretending to be a virgin; sleeping with her stable boy and his cousin; dyslexic).
9. Henry, meanwhile, was losing __________ (his hair, mind, ability to maintain an erection).
10. Henry's last wife, Catherine Parr, was named after __________ (Henry's first wife; her father's favorite hunting dog, "Old Parr"; herself).
11. When Henry 8 died in 1547 at the age of fifty-five, he __________ (weighed 420 pounds; had lost all feeling in his left leg; couldn't remember the names of any of his wives).