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Preppy Killer Says Rough Sex with Gal Pal Led to Coke Bust
Oct 23, 2007, 20:26
NEW YORK - Robert Chambers Jr., whom you may remember as the "Preppy Killer," told police last night that the drugs found in the apartment he shares with his long-time companion, Shawn Kovell, belong to Ms. Kovell.
Mr. Chambers, 41, made this revelation after he and Ms. Kovell, 39, had been arrested and charged with numerous offenses owing to the cocaine, crack pipes, and other drug-related material found in their apartment.
"None of that [stuff] is mine," said Mr. Chambers. "Shawn keeps it around. She likes to get amped up, rub coke all over my [penis], and have rough sex."
Mr. Chambers and his [penis] were sentenced to prison in 1988 after he had pleaded guilty to manslaughter in the death of Jennifer Levin. Ms. Levin was eighteen when she died two years earlier following a bout of "rough sex" in Central Park with Mr. Chambers. He served all of a fifteen-year sentence, having received no time off for good behavior.
"I got into fights in jail defending myself against prisoners who wanted to force rough sex on me," said Mr. Chambers.
Police raided the Chambers-Kovell apartment after receiving complaints from neighbors who said they couldn't sleep because of the steady stream of people visiting Mr. Chambers and Ms. Kovell at all hours of the night.
"I swear I saw Clay Aiken and Liza Minnelli getting off the elevator at 2 o'clock in the morning," said one building resident who asked not to be identified.
"Those are all Shawn's friends," said Mr. Chambers. "They come over and watch porn and keep me up all night. Half the time I throw them out as soon as they get here."
In addition to being charged with drug offenses, Mr. Chambers was charged with resisting arrest, felony assault on a policeman in the line of his or her duty, and causing bodily harm to a policeman in the line of his or her duty.
After subduing Mr. Chambers, one officer had to be treated for a broken thumb; another suffered a strained ligament in his hand.
"I was just trying to defend myself," said Mr. Chambers. "New York police have a reputation for engaging in some pretty rough sex with their prisoners."
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Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
