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Numbers That Wag the Dog
Jews as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.2
Source: Jewish Virtual Library

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.3
Source: NHIS data in the Washington Post

Persons with Celiac disease as % of U.S. population: 1
Source: Food Republic

Persons who follow a gluten-free diet, despite not having celiac, as a % of U.S. population: 3
Source: National Foundation for Celiac Awareness

Percent of these people who are deluding themselves: 100
Source: The Pug Bus

Official Carly Fiorina
C-Bomb Counter™
The Donald was right: Who could vote for that mug? Imagine seeing that cowpie with eyes on the front page of your newspaper in the morning. The only thing worse would be seeing that cowpie with eyes in your bed in the morning. She's a two-bagger, for sure. She's also a devout foe of the word cunt, though she gives every appearance of being one.Indeed,a source close to the Fiorina campaign revealed recently that if old grumblemug gets elected, she'll make the use of that word in any public space a felony. Thus we feel obliged to introduce the Official Carly Fiorina C-Bomb Counter, which reports the number of times the C-Bomb has been used any place in America since you landed on this page. (Figures do not include uses by Donald Trump, who calls women cunts all the time.)

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1-  -2-

Humor Feed Banner

Neil Patrick Harris Says Doogie Howser Was Gay, Too
Nov 4, 2006 - 12:46
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NEW YORK - Neil Patrick Harris let both Bruno Maglis drop in a recent interview with People magazine. The boyish-looking thirty-three-year-old actor revealed not only that he is gay but also that Doogie Howser, M.D., the kid-genius he played in the television series of the same name, was gay.

"Doogie and I realized our sexual preferences were evolving at about the same time," said Mr. Harris. "That would have been when Doogie lost his virginity to his girlfriend, Wanda, in the first episode of season 3 (September 25, 1991).

When Doogie 'wrote' in his journal at the end of that episode, what he actually said was, 'The entire time I was with Wanda, I couldn't stop thinking about Vinnie (Delpino, Doogie's best friend and eventual roommate in the series). I kept seeing Vinnie's lips and Vinnie's ass. That's why I insisted on doing it doggie style with Wanda the second time—so I could pretend she was Vinnie."

That journal entry was revised by the show's editorial content advisory board, Mr. Harris told People; but throughout the last two seasons of Doogie Howser, M.D., Mr. Harris fought with the show's creator, Stephen Bochco, to let Doogie explore his sexuality in a realistic fashion. Mr. Bocho wouldn't hear of it, choosing instead to pull the plug on the show in 1993 after only four seasons.

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"Stephen kept hooking Doogie up with one beard after another—a model who couldn't keep her clothes on, a deaf girl with a positive attitude, his mom's boss, a couple of nurses, even his old babysitter. At the end of every show where Doogie was 'involved' with a woman, I'd have him write outrageously gay things in his journal, but they were always censored."

Mr. Harris' twin revelations to People came just two days after his publicist had issued a statement saying the actor is "not of that persuasion." That denial was hardly convincing said Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight, who recently admitted to being gay.

"All my gay friends and I just knew Doogie was a friend of Dorothy's," laughed Mr. Knight, 33. "That show was so camp, honey, and the 'love' scenes! What a hoot. It was obvious that Doogie would have much preferred grabbing Vinnie's crotch than those bimbos' he was dating. And did you notice how Doogie had a habit of dangling one sneaker all the time? That's like code for totally gay foot fetish."

Next Oprah: Do gay men make better doctors?

If you liked this one, please tell a friend. Didn't like it? Tell a cop, your minister, the FCC, the NSA, or the HMFIC down at the American Family Association.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


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The Fuck It List

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Shit to Give Up Before You Die

☻Seat Belts
☻Paying for Music and Movies
☻Holiday Celebrations
☻Pissing Indoors All the Time
☻Paying Attention to Stop Signs
☻Going to Bed Before Midnight.
☻Standing for the fucking
      National Anthem at Sporting
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      Parking Spaces

There's a Saint for That
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The Pug Bus Interview
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Free the Music
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Sites for Sore Eyes
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High Times
Pirate Bay
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