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Numbers Don't Lie
Blacks as % of University of Missouri Student Body . . . 7
Source: Mizzou Diversity

Jews as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.2
Source: Jewish Virtual Library

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.3
Source: NHIS data in the Washington Post

Muslims as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.1
Source: Muslim Population

Persons with Celiac disease as % of U.S. population: 1
Source: Food Republic

Persons who follow a gluten-free diet, despite not having celiac, as a % of U.S. population: 3
Source: National Foundation for Celiac Awareness

Percent of these people who are deluding themselves: 100
Source: The Pug Bus

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed ona roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Neil Patrick Harris Says Doogie Howser Was Gay, Too
Nov 4, 2006 - 12:46
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NEW YORK - Neil Patrick Harris let both Bruno Maglis drop in a recent interview with People magazine. The boyish-looking thirty-three-year-old actor revealed not only that he is gay but also that Doogie Howser, M.D., the kid-genius he played in the television series of the same name, was gay.

"Doogie and I realized our sexual preferences were evolving at about the same time," said Mr. Harris. "That would have been when Doogie lost his virginity to his girlfriend, Wanda, in the first episode of season 3 (September 25, 1991).

When Doogie 'wrote' in his journal at the end of that episode, what he actually said was, 'The entire time I was with Wanda, I couldn't stop thinking about Vinnie (Delpino, Doogie's best friend and eventual roommate in the series). I kept seeing Vinnie's lips and Vinnie's ass. That's why I insisted on doing it doggie style with Wanda the second time—so I could pretend she was Vinnie."

That journal entry was revised by the show's editorial content advisory board, Mr. Harris told People; but throughout the last two seasons of Doogie Howser, M.D., Mr. Harris fought with the show's creator, Stephen Bochco, to let Doogie explore his sexuality in a realistic fashion. Mr. Bocho wouldn't hear of it, choosing instead to pull the plug on the show in 1993 after only four seasons.

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"Stephen kept hooking Doogie up with one beard after another—a model who couldn't keep her clothes on, a deaf girl with a positive attitude, his mom's boss, a couple of nurses, even his old babysitter. At the end of every show where Doogie was 'involved' with a woman, I'd have him write outrageously gay things in his journal, but they were always censored."

Mr. Harris' twin revelations to People came just two days after his publicist had issued a statement saying the actor is "not of that persuasion." That denial was hardly convincing said Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight, who recently admitted to being gay.

"All my gay friends and I just knew Doogie was a friend of Dorothy's," laughed Mr. Knight, 33. "That show was so camp, honey, and the 'love' scenes! What a hoot. It was obvious that Doogie would have much preferred grabbing Vinnie's crotch than those bimbos' he was dating. And did you notice how Doogie had a habit of dangling one sneaker all the time? That's like code for totally gay foot fetish."

Next Oprah: Do gay men make better doctors?

If you liked this one, please tell a friend. Didn't like it? Tell a cop, your minister, the FCC, the NSA, or the HMFIC down at the American Family Association.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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The Fuck It List
image of a sons of anarchy emblem on a motorcycle jacket
Shit to Give Up Before You Die
♠ Religion
♠ Voting
♠ Seat Belts
♠ Paying for Music and Movies
♠ Sending Holiday Cards
♠ Funerals
♠ Pissing Indoors All the Time
♠ Paying Attention to Stop Signs
♠ Going to Bed Before Midnight
♠ Standing for the National
      Anthem At Sporting Events
♠ Not Parking in Handicapped
      Parking Spaces

There's a Saint for That
image of a saint, name unknownThere's a saint for that, whatever "that" might be. Just click where it hurts you to find out which board-certified saint to call. Breast Implants, burn marks from the grill,, hemorrhoids, and more.
The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolShit happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby

American Atheists—we've even got our own television station now; great source for material pertaining to the war against Christianity, Christmas, and Jesus H. Christ himself
GNAA—the "G" stands for "Gay," you're on your own with the rest
High Times—wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for?
Pirate Bay—indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
SHUN Magazine—The Journal of Contemporary Shame Culture, (Full Fucking Disclosure: I, Phil Maggitti, your editor in briefs at the Pug Bus, have recently begun contributing under an assumed name to this slap in the pubes to everything that's worth shaming about the American dystopia)
Soulseek—no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free
Spectrum Labs—need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid—before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
BTGuard—great VPN service, it's the one that we here at the Pug Bus use, don't go digital shoplifting on your computer without it