Home   Ass Hat Awards   Blog   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff  
Looking for Something on This Site?
Ask Googlelyn
The World's First Transgender
Search Engine

Numbers Don't Lie
Blacks as % of University of Missouri Student Body . . . 7
Source: Mizzou Diversity

Jews as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.2
Source: Jewish Virtual Library

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.3
Source: NHIS data in the Washington Post

Muslims as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.1
Source: Muslim Population

Persons with Celiac disease as % of U.S. population: 1
Source: Food Republic

Persons who follow a gluten-free diet, despite not having celiac, as a % of U.S. population: 3
Source: National Foundation for Celiac Awareness

Percent of these people who are deluding themselves: 100
Source: The Pug Bus

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed ona roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive readers who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Ann Coulter Poses Nude for Esquire
Nov 28, 2006 - 6:41
an image
LOS ANGELES - This grave, grand room with its Isfahan carpet, mahogany desk and bookshelves, and sofa of wine-colored leather, could almost be a judge's chambers. Or my shrink's office.

Except reclining Cleopatra-style on that sofa is none other than Ann Coulter. She's wrapped in a kimono of royal blue silk—"The color of the Virgin Mary," she laughs softly—and nothing else. In less time than it takes me to write this, she will unwrap herself and pose for the photographers, who are fussing with their lights.

Yes, I am speaking of the Ann Coulter: pundit, author of Godless, frequent foil for Fox News' Alan Colmes, and right-wing America's queen of mean. She's lanced many a Hollywood celebrity for pulling this kind of stunt, so what gives now? Is Coulter making the ultimate ironic gesture? Or is the one-time top jurist truly convinced that disclosing her willowy corpus, for photos due to appear this spring in Esquire, will enable her to command higher fees on the lecture circuit?

an image
ML: Why, Ann? Why?
AC: I'm not doing it because I drank too many Red Bulls, I can promise you that much. Hi, Britney! Nice to see you back in form.

ML: Seriously.
AC: Seriously? OK. I'm doing this because I can. I'm a beautiful woman with a beautiful body in a field dominated by stiffs in suits and tortoiseshells. Hundreds of thousands of people actually want to see me naked. Who would want to see George Will naked? His mother, or if she's dead, maybe his doctor.

ML: You really think that many men find you desirable?
AC: If mash notes were votes, I'd be president-for-life. I get more imploring messages each month than the Wailing Wall.

ML: I guess certain people do have a lot of time on their hands.
AC: Very funny. The wards of the state are too busy listening to Air America to know who I am. My demographic is the quality—investment bankers, corporatate lawyers, captains of industry. Just last week an Episcopalian bishop boxed his little bishop in front of a webcam and sent me the video, wasn't that nice? Actually, that was probably a mistake. If he was Episcopalian, he must have meant to send it to Jonah Goldberg.

an image
ML: Touche, touche, touche. So why are these hotshots looking to media figures for their jollies?
AC: Why else? Because contemporary American women don't do it for them anymore. They can't possibly. They've read so much [1960s feminist] Bella Abzug that they've started to look like her.

ML: So we're all looking for a new ideal and you're it?
AC: You could do a lot worse. Look at Hollywood harpies like Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston. None of them has the brains to spell GOP, much less vote that way.

ML: You don't think Michelle Malkin could fill the role?
AC: Ah, Michelle. Her writing's good, but she's too into the mom role to start a revolution. But, hey, you might want to sit near her on an airplane in case she starts nursing. Turn your head now. I have skin to show.

ML: I don't get to watch?
AC. You're nowhere near my demographic.

If you liked this one, please tell a friend. Didn't like it? Tell a cop, your minister, the FCC, the NSA, or the HMFIC down at the American Family Association.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

Follow the Pug Bus on Twitter
or we'll follow your ass home.

Back by Unpopular Demand

The Fuck It List
image of a sons of anarchy emblem on a motorcycle jacket
Shit to Give Up Before You Die
♠ Religion
♠ Voting
♠ Seat Belts
♠ Paying for Music and Movies
♠ Sending Holiday Cards
♠ Funerals
♠ Pissing Indoors All the Time
♠ Paying Attention to Stop Signs
♠ Going to Bed Before Midnight
♠ Standing for the National
      Anthem At Sporting Events
♠ Not Parking in Handicapped
      Parking Spaces

There's a Saint for That
image of a saint, name unknownThere's a saint for that, whatever "that" might be. Just click where it hurts you to find out which board-certified saint to call. Breast Implants, burn marks from the grill,, hemorrhoids, and more.
The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolShit happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby

American Atheists—we've even got our own television station now; great source for material pertaining to the war against Christianity, Christmas, and Jesus H. Christ himself
GNAA—the "G" stands for "Gay," you're on your own with the rest
High Times—wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for?
Pirate Bay—indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
SHUN Magazine—The Journal of Contemporary Shame Culture, (Full Fucking Disclosure: I, Phil Maggitti, your editor in briefs at the Pug Bus, have recently begun contributing under an assumed name to this slap in the pubes to everything that's worth shaming about the American dystopia)
Soulseek—no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free
Spectrum Labs—need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid—before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
BTGuard—great VPN service, it's the one that we here at the Pug Bus use, don't go digital shoplifting on your computer without it