Home   Ass Hat Awards   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff   Contact
Search This Site

National Security Agency
The Gang That Couldn't Spy Straight
image of NSA logo with Alfred E. Neumann face superimposedGet your tin foil hats on, kids, the National Security Agency is coming with its mentaloscopy machine. Check the doors and windows, check under the bed, and check here often to find out which of your civil liberties these fools have buggered of late.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1-  -2-


Humor Feed Banner
Ann Coulter Poses Nude for Esquire
Nov 28, 2006 - 6:41
an image
LOS ANGELES - This grave, grand room with its Isfahan carpet, mahogany desk and bookshelves, and sofa of wine-colored leather, could almost be a judge's chambers. Or my shrink's office.

Except reclining Cleopatra-style on that sofa is none other than Ann Coulter. She's wrapped in a kimono of royal blue silk—"The color of the Virgin Mary," she laughs softly—and nothing else. In less time than it takes me to write this, she will unwrap herself and pose for the photographers, who are fussing with their lights.

Yes, I am speaking of the Ann Coulter: pundit, author of Godless, frequent foil for Fox News' Alan Colmes, and right-wing America's queen of mean. She's lanced many a Hollywood celebrity for pulling this kind of stunt, so what gives now? Is Coulter making the ultimate ironic gesture? Or is the one-time top jurist truly convinced that disclosing her willowy corpus, for photos due to appear this spring in Esquire, will enable her to command higher fees on the lecture circuit?



an image
ML: Why, Ann? Why?
AC: I'm not doing it because I drank too many Red Bulls, I can promise you that much. Hi, Britney! Nice to see you back in form.

ML: Seriously.
AC: Seriously? OK. I'm doing this because I can. I'm a beautiful woman with a beautiful body in a field dominated by stiffs in suits and tortoiseshells. Hundreds of thousands of people actually want to see me naked. Who would want to see George Will naked? His mother, or if she's dead, maybe his doctor.

ML: You really think that many men find you desirable?
AC: If mash notes were votes, I'd be president-for-life. I get more imploring messages each month than the Wailing Wall.

ML: I guess certain people do have a lot of time on their hands.
AC: Very funny. The wards of the state are too busy listening to Air America to know who I am. My demographic is the quality—investment bankers, corporatate lawyers, captains of industry. Just last week an Episcopalian bishop boxed his little bishop in front of a webcam and sent me the video, wasn't that nice? Actually, that was probably a mistake. If he was Episcopalian, he must have meant to send it to Jonah Goldberg.

an image
ML: Touche, touche, touche. So why are these hotshots looking to media figures for their jollies?
AC: Why else? Because contemporary American women don't do it for them anymore. They can't possibly. They've read so much [1960s feminist] Bella Abzug that they've started to look like her.

ML: So we're all looking for a new ideal and you're it?
AC: You could do a lot worse. Look at Hollywood harpies like Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston. None of them has the brains to spell GOP, much less vote that way.

ML: You don't think Michelle Malkin could fill the role?
AC: Ah, Michelle. Her writing's good, but she's too into the mom role to start a revolution. But, hey, you might want to sit near her on an airplane in case she starts nursing. Turn your head now. I have skin to show.

ML: I don't get to watch?
AC. You're nowhere near my demographic.



top-of-page link   top of page    teensy, tiny image of printer  printer friendly page

 

Don't Miss the Feral Atheist
Part website, part anti-hero, The Feral Atheist takes a tongue-in-cheeky look at the foibles, follies, and self-righteous fuckups of our god-bothering non-brethren.


Back by Unpopular Demand

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the stones to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolStuff happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.
Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed on a roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.


Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby American Atheists, High Times, Pirate Bay, Soulseek, Spectrum Labs, The Feral Atheist, Vaults of Erowid, WiTopia