Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
image
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Jessica Sierra Sex Tape Shot in Motel 6, Exclusive
        Dec 8, 2007 - 9:12
        LAKELAND, Fla. - The Jessica Sierra sex tape, about to hit the Internet like a thousand pair of soiled panties flung against a wall, was shot in a Motel 6 in Florida, a source as close as anyone wants to get to the "singer" has revealed.

"Jessica was determined to keep it real, that's why she chose Motel 6."

For sure there's nothing more real than cavorting on eighty-count, grayed-out sheets dotted with stains that won't wash out.

In case you've been distracted by the antics of other American Idol graduates, Jessica Sierra is the common-looking singer—like that really narrows it down—who shot to fame after she was the third contestant eliminated from American Idol 2005.

Ms. Sierra has been a busy little beaver in the meantime. She's been stalked by a loser with three-and-a-half teeth; she's been arrested for bouncing a leaded cocktail glass off a man's head in a Florida bar; she's been in and out of rehab; and she's presently in jail awaiting a December 20 hearing on charges that she violated the terms of the probation she got for bouncing the glass off that sack of shit's head in the bar.

Ms. Sierra's most recent transgressions include public drunkenness, vomiting in the back of a patrol car, making terroristic treats at a police woman, offering to fellate the policewoman's partner if he agreed to forget the whole thing, then repeatedly calling him a [negro] after he had turned her down.

Perhaps if she had made her sporting offer before blowing chunks all over the inside of the police cruiser, the fuzz might have overlooked the herpes sores that dot her muzzle like chocolate chips in a Toll House cookie, but add a few half-digested deviled eggs to that equation, and you've got a definite no sale.

While Ms. Sierra, 22, has been busy as a beaver, her beaver hasn't exactly been sitting around idle, as the Motel 6 tape will soon reveal.

Also featured in the tape are a woman who bears more than a passing resemblance to Paula Abdul and two men—one of whom is a dead-ringer for Simon Cowell; the other could pass for Randy Jackson a hundred pounds ago.

        In this video, whose working title has been changed from We'll Leave the Light on for You to Here Come Da Judges, Ms. Sierra plays a young, innocent American Idol contestant who is preyed upon in turn by each of the three Idol judges.

First Ms. Abdul introduces Ms. Sierra to the joys of elongated vegetables while pretending to help her with song selection for an upcoming edition of Idol. Their dalliance is uncovered when Simon Cowell finds pubic hairs in his cucumber salad and traces them back to Ms. Abdul.

After threatening to blow the whistle on his fellow adjudicator, Mr. Cowell suggests a manage a zucchini, which quickly degenerates into an all-you-can-eat salad bar after Mr. Jackson hears a god-awful racket coming from Ms. Abdul's dressing room and goes to investigate.

The video of this fun with the food pyramid has wound up in the hands of a major porn distributor, who wants to make it available for downloading at $39.95 before Christmas. So if there's someone on your Christmas list who would get off watching a never-was who looks like a bus station hooker getting busy with three derelicts in a sleazy motel, you can cross that person of your Christmas list. Spencers adult gift section ain't got nothing like this.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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