postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
 


White privilege means always having to say you're sorry ...

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday


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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Paris Hilton's High Colonic Adventure, An Inside Look
Dec 10, 2005 - 8:48
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LOS ANGELES - Paris Hilton is about to appear nearly naked in a television commercial once again. This time, however, instead of doing a lap dance on a high-powered black car, Hilton will be stretched out on a table at The Total Health Connection touting the glories of colon cleansing on behalf of The International Association for Colon Hydrotherapy, for which she is the 2006 Colon Girl. The following is the text from that commercial.

"Hi, this is Paris Hilton. Perhaps you've been wondering how I manage to look so radiant while going to a different club every night, drinking to excess, and fighting off STDs. Sure, being independently wealthy and dating only Greek billionaires helps, but even the rich and famous can feel tired and frumpy sometimes.

"When I get the 'blues,' I get on down to The Total Health Connection and get hooked up with a refreshing high colonic purge. Take it from me, Paris Hilton, nothing restores the complexion, invigorates the mind, and cleanses the soul better than a king-size dump. That's why nearly two thirds of the celebrities in Hollywood—beautiful people like Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Tara Reid, Lindsay Lohan, and Kimberly Stewart—rely on high colonics to keep them on the go.

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"Perhaps you're wondering just what this high colonic business is all about. Well, let me tell you, it's better than sex, and I should know. A high colonic is warm, wonderful, and entirely painless—and best of all, you don't have to miss any important calls on your cell phone. Besides, it's quick. In no more than an hour you'll be back in your Mercedes, ready to hit Decades or The Gucci Store.

"To begin, you lie on this totally comfortable table in a stylishly appointed room. The colonic therapist gently inserts a small rigid tube called a speculum about six inches into your rectum. Oooooooh. Just talking about it gives me goose bumps.

"The therapist attaches the speculum to a gaily colored plastic hose connected to a colon irrigation machine. While soothing Yanni music plays softly in the background, all five feet of your colon are slowly filled with warm, purified, jasmine-scented water.

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Do not attempt colon hydrotherapy at home.
"This causes the muscles that line the colon to contract and expand rhythmically—as though they're grooving to a sensuous disco beat—
forcing out that nasty fecal matter, gas, and mucus through an evacuation tube that leads back to the machine. Don't worry, girls, nobody's going to laugh if you make a noise like a tuba.

"After the first infusion of water has been expelled, the procedure is repeated until twenty to thirty gallons of water have been flushed through the bowel. Then, before you can say, 'Stavros, that feels so good,' you're ready to go shopping.

"So take it from me, Paris Hilton, Colon Girl for The International Association for Colon Hydrotherapy, if you want to look your best for the holidays, treat yourself to a high colonic right away. No ifs, ands, or butts about it."



Next Oprah: How High Colonics Can Save Your Marriage


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Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these still-fresh articles and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it




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