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Will Smith Denounced by JDL for Saying Hitler Was Probably Human
Dec 26, 2007, 11:00
Photo courtesy of Will Smith.
LOS ANGELES - Actor, rapper, and Tom Cruise butt buddy Will Smith got royally tarred and feathered by the JDL (Jewish Defense League) for advancing the theory that Adolph Hitler, despite his record, may have been human.
Mr. Smith, never one to be mistaken for the sharpest tool in the shed, made that observation to a reporter from Scotland's Daily Record.
"Even Hitler began life as a cute little baby, just like the rest of us," said Mr. Smith. "He didn't wake up each day going, 'Let me do the most evil thing I can today.'
"I think Hitler woke up in the morning and, using a twisted, backwards logic, set out to do what he thought was 'good.'"
The same might be said of Mr. Smith, but you won't catch the JDL permitting anyone to say it. Ignoring Mr. Smith's reputation as the African American least likely to give offense, the JDL called his remarks "ignorant, detestable, and offensive."
The group then urged Senator Barack Obama, whom Mr. Smith supports, to repudiate the actor's statements about Hitler, particularly the bit about Hitler being a good dog owner.
Photo courtesy of Will Smith.
Quicker than you could say, "My remarks were blown out of context," Mr. Smith badmouthed the writer who had interviewed him and prostated himself before the JDL.
"[The story] is an awful and disgusting lie," said Mr. Smith. "I am incensed and infuriated to have to respond to such ludicrous misinterpretation. Adolf Hitler was a vile, heinous, vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet."
Mr. Smith neglected to say where taking money from people to watch the likes of I Am Legend and The Pursuit of Happyness ranks among the world's greatest evils.
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
