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The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
DJ Fired for Playing New Dixie Chicks CD at Home
May 22, 2006, 09:30
Fired WPWT disc jockey Billy Edd Boguss.
OPP, Ala. - A disc jockey at WPWT was fired after he had been caught listening to an advance copy of the Dixie Chicks' new album, Taking the Long Way. Billy Edd Boguss, week day morning drive time jock at WPWT, was listening to the CD and working on a six pack of Budweiser when WPWT station manager, Edsel Haggard, stopped by shortly before noon last Saturday.
"I couldn't believe my ears," said Mr. Haggard. "I knew right away we had us a situation on our hands."
WPWT, "the coon hunter's choice in southern Alabama," was one of the first stations in the country to ban Dixie Chicks' music after lead singer, Natalie Maines, had told a London audience in March of 2003 that she was ashamed to be from the same state as President Bush. Since then few stations have been so zealous as WPWT in its persecution of the Dixie Chicks.
"All y'all won't never hear none of that music on our station nor in the homes of any of our employees either," said Mr. Haggard. "We make our people put their mark on a loyalty pledge, and they're subject to random testin'.
"We're proud that we've burned more Dixie Chicks CDs than any other station in the South," said WPWT station manager, Edsel Haggard.
"Other stations might of allowed some of them girls' songs back on their playlists, but not us. We're proud of our patriotism, and we're proud of our monthly Natalie Maines pinata-whackin' contests."
Mr. Haggard said he had begun to "have my suspicions about Billy Edd when I drove by his truck in Wal-Mart's parkin' lot and he was a-listenin' to that new Bruce Springsteen CD, the one with all them Pete Seeger songs on it."
Mr. Haggard was at a loss to explain how Mr. Boguss had obtained an advance copy of Taking the Long Way.
"Mebbe he made a copy from the advance CD we was plannin' to burn at the Sons of the Confederacy meetin' this week," said Mr. Haggard. "Or mebbe he downloaded it off of the Internet. That ain't the point though. No matter how he got it, he violated an unspelled station rule that says we don't send the wrong message to our enemies by listenin' to that kind of stuff."
In other news, speculation is mounting that the body of Jimmy Hoffa will be found underneath the parking lot of the Bada Bing in the season-ending episode of The Sopranos on June 4.
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
