postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
 

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.” Margaret Thatcher
People who claim that meat should be used as a condiment ought to be reminded that vegetables work best as garnishes.
According to Consumer Reports, the Vizio M-Series Quantum 55-inch TV is rated "best" by rioters in Portlandia, who give it high fives for portability (only 35.6 lbs) as well as a generous $659 discount at all participating and non-participating stores
From hair plugs to butt plugs, the political "awakening" of J. Robinette Biden
The Ultimate White Privilege: Only white people can forgive other white people for their racism
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday


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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Postmodern Horoscopes
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Presenting the astrological world's only postmodern horoscope . . . the one grand narrative you can believe in . . . guaranteed to deconstruct your future before it happens. Click, poke, tap, or finger here, Jacques.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Apologizing for Anything
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Global Warming Thaws Al Gore
Jul 22, 2006 - 2:15
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SOUTH POLE STATION, Antarctica - In what climatologists say is the definitive sign that the theory of global warming is fact, Al Gore appears to have begun thawing out spon-
taneously. Gore's frozen visage that many remember from the 2000 presidential campaign no longer exists, say geopolitical experts.

Now that Gore is melting, some political analysts say he will run more effectively than he did as a solid. However, Coppin State University political scientist Dr. Marv Mendenhall pointed out that Gore's thawing already has cost him his position on the Bird's Eye board of directors and most likely will lose him the support of the frozen confections industry. Analysts also note that these developments leave the field for the frigid vote clearly in the astute but clammy hands of Hillary Clinton.

Gore, the cold and stiff candidate who made fellow Democrat presidential contenders Michael Dukakis and Walter Mondale seem warm and fuzzy by comparison, is no longer recognizable even to his own family. The change, temporarily hidden by an ecologically correct Grizzly Adams-type beard, became apparent when Gore shaved it off as part of an "Earth First!" fundraiser. His wife, Mary Elizabeth "Tipper" Gore, onlookers reported, was frozen in surprise when she first saw him clean shaven.

"He just didn't have that chiseled look that I had grown to love," she said.

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Gore, according to art expert Joan Miro-Miro, now looks more like a Salvador Dali painting than the ice sculpture that has been acting as the official Gore vice-presidential portrait. Scientists believe the melting began when Gore was onsite in Antarctica observing the photographing of the nature film March of the Penguins. Political psychologist Dr. Werner von Krankeit said that he believes the tipping point for Gore may have come when he recognized himself in the Emperor penguins' walk.

While environmentalists have hailed the Gore-based documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, as ice breaking, they are also concerned because Gore's new energy and passion are thought to be responsible for most of this year's 1.2 degree (Celsius) increase in the mean global temperature.


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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.



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hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it




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