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Chinese Restaurant Suspected of Fortune Cookie Fraud
Oct 26, 2009, 05:43
The $8.95-and-under fortune cookie.
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - A popular Chinese restaurant in this university town is suspected of manipulating fortune cookies in order to lure customers into purchasing more expensive items.
According to a consumer watchdog group called Citizens United to Fight Fraud (CUFF), the China King Palace restaurant distributes the best fortune cookies to customers spending the largest amount of money.
Cyndi Braunstein, president of CUFF, said she and her husband, Allan, order take out from China King Palace at least twice a week.
"On week nights," Ms. Braunstein explained, "we often split a large hot-and-sour soup and a spare rib combo. That costs $10. On weekends we splurge. Maybe we'll share the shark fin soup, then I might get seven stars around the moon, and Allan will order the whole crispy fish. That usually runs about $32.
"At some point," said Ms. Braunstein, "we began to notice a difference between weekend and weekday fortune cookies. Weekend fortune cookies contained messages like 'You will succeed beyond your wildest dreams.' Weekday fortunes, on the other hand, ran to the obvious: 'Great effort leads to great success.' What kind of fortune is that?"
The $9.95-and-up fortune cookie.
At first the Braunsteins thought China King Palace was saving its best fortunes for weekends—until it was their turn to host CUFF's monthly executive committee meeting. Because Ms. Braunstein didn't feel like pizza that day, she suggested ordering take out from China King Palace. After the members of CUFF had finished their meals, they opened their fortune cookies.
Beth Ann Aubry, who had vegetable chow fun ($6.95), got a fortune that read, "Loose lips sink ships." Sally Andre (house special egg foo young, $6.95) found "The early bird catches the worm" in her cookie.
"Not only were they not fortunes," said Ms. Braunstein, "they were cliches to boot."
Charlie Eggers, who ordered the happy family ($11.25) as a joke because he had just gotten divorced, got a fortune that predicted, "A lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you."
Thinking they smelled a rat, CUFF members fanned out and visited a number of Chinese restaurants that weekend, including China Empress, China Express, and China Garden. The fortune cookie messages in those restaurants did not correlate with meal prices.
When Ms. Braunstein approached Winston Wu, owner of China King Palace, he said in halting English that his workers were not permitted to give more than one fortune cookie per order. Ms. Braunstein tried to explain that she didn't want extra fortune cookies, but she did have questions about the way fortune cookies are distributed at China King Palace.
"Extra fortune cookie, ten cent," said Mr. Wu.
Next Oprah: Are IQ Tests Culturally Biased in Favor of Asians?
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Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
