Giuliani, Clinton, Shetty, Goody Clash over Klaus Harmony Fragrance
Feb 10, 2007, 22:51
Bollywood star and Big Brother winner Shilpa Shetty,
AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - When it was first released in 1978, Orgust, the signature fragrance by porn film-score composer, Klaus Harmony, failed to achieve widespread success.
Following the recent launch of klausharmony.com, however, a wave of Klausmania has swept the globe; and the re-release of Orgust (pronounced or GOOSED) has attracted unprecedented attention, not only from the media and glitterati but also from leading political figures.
“The essential problem would appear to be its appeal to both men and women," commented Unipol marketing consultant, Rich Travers.
“Its unisexual prominence, for example, led to a clash between Hillary Clinton and Rudolph Giuliani over which presidential candidate will officially endorse the product.”
In the UK it is rumoured that with his bid for premiership increasing in intensity, Gordon Brown has taken to wearing Orgust, which is filled with a powerful cocktail of pheromones. Tony Blair, his rivalry with Brown scarcely behind him, is apparently adorning himself with the perfume also, leading to a series of requests from senior ministers to switch to the backbenches to escape the smell.
In Washington, speculation is mounting that President Bush summoned Condoleezza Rice to the Oval office to express concerns over her conduct after her hinting at a press conference that she likes to treat Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay, to a “good whiff of Orgust in the morning”.
Rich Travers believes that the purveyors of Orgust will soon step in to offer legitimate contracts to the rich and famous to advertise the fragrance.
“We know that a few embarrassing moments have taken place, particularly the brawl between Nick Lachey and David Beckham at LA's Chateau Marmont. I doubt Orgust wants that kind of publicity. There's no official word as yet, but we would be very surprised if the Beckhams don't get a joint deal to put their faces to a campaign. If they do, we imagine it would be worth around $20m.
Author and Big Brother reject Jade Goody,
Shilpa Shetty, Bollywood star and recent winner of UK reality show Big Brother, is tipped to be the winner of a Euro-Asian contract worth a staggering £75m.
Jade Goody, who was evicted from Big Brother by public acclamation following charges of racist bullying, has told reporters that she does not believe Shilpa deserves the contract.
“Yeah, I'm not being funny, right? But that p*k* bitch shouldn't be getting British money for wearing some f*ck*ng perfume. She should just f*ck off home to India. She'd need a gallon of the stuff to get rid of her curry stench anyway. Can I talk about my new book now?”
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