Barack Obama Gets Endorsement from Edwards’ Hair Stylist
May 28, 2008, 12:42
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - In what is certainly a tremendous boost to Senator Barack Obama’s quest to win over the “hard-working, blue-collar vote,” John Edwards’ hairstylist Joseph Torrenueva has declared that Obama has “workingman’s hair.”
The Beverly Hills hairstylist, made famous after Edwards’ Federal Election Commission filing revealed his expensive coiffures at Torrenueva’s Wilshire Boulevard shop, said Obama’s hair is “brittle, with split ends, and his scalp is dry and flaky”—all tell-tale signs of selfless, hard work.
When Senator Obama was asked about the endorsement during a campaign stop in Nevada, he said the pace of the campaign has been so frenetic he hasn’t had time to use conditioner since last October.
Torrenueva’s pivotal endorsement may well be the proverbial straw that breaks the back of Democratic presidential camel Hillary Clinton and ends her bid for her party’s nomination. Since Edwards announced his support for Senator Obama, major unions, including the Steelworkers Union and the Steel Wool Hair-workers Union, have also given their support to the Senator from Illinois.
Hillary Clinton has vowed to fight on.
“Anything could happen. Obama could contract some exotic scalp disease or he might be found on the bottom of the Hudson River in cement shoes.”
Republican National Committee spokesman Alex Conant said Obama should have used a less expensive chain salon. Continuing the attack on Obama’s putative alienation from working class voters, Conant said, “Obama’s glossy, close-cropped hair is out of step with rank-and-file union members, who have dirty, matted locks and want to save money on haircuts.”
Upon hearing these remarks, Senator Edwards shot back: “Republican detractors who criticize the use of the hairstylist as ‘disconnected from working people’ fail to mention that Torrenueva is a union barber, and his fees were negotiated through a collective bargaining process. You don’t see shops like his any more because increasingly they are being off-shored by greedy, multinational hair salons.”
After being asked by a reporter if expensive haircuts were now being imported, Edwards retorted: “Obama is the one man with the vision to unite this country and ensure that everyone has access to good quality haircare.”
Edwards’ wife, who previously endorsed Hillary Clinton’s healthcare policy over Obama’s plan, said, “Obama’s haircare policy will save American jobs and end the scourge of dry, itchy, flaky scalps.”
Former President Bill Clinton knows a thing or two about harsh criticism over pricey haircuts. In his first term he caused delays at the Los Angeles Airport while getting a haircut aboard Airforce One.
“I took a lot of flak over that incident, but that barber was a member of the Airplane Barbers’ Local. They are required to take a half-hour break every hour if cutting hair on an airport runway.”
