TOLEDO, Ohio - Someone named Joe the Plumber was mentioned nearly two dozen times in last night's third and final presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain.
While senators McCain and Obama argued over whose economic plan would do the most for Joe the Plumber, viewers at home were asking one another, "Who the fuck is Joe the Plumber?"
Postcards from the Pug Bus has discovered that Joe the Plumber is far from the working class martyr he pretends to be. Indeed, if the following American Express ad in the December issue of PILF (Plumbers I'd Love to Fuck) magazine is any indication, Joe the Plumber is actually quite flush.
Joe the Plumber: My Life, My Card
My name—Joe McCain (legally changed to “Wurzelbacher” for promotional purposes).
Favorite movie—Mr. Clean Does Dallas.
Retreat—my Xbox 360, my basement sofa, and a six-pack of Bud.
Indulgence—human growth hormone.
Favorite music—classic rock, Toby Keith, anything but rap.
Biggest challenge—learning to spell “Wurzelbacher.”
Secret vice—taking a dump in my clients’ toilets, urinating out of doors.
Wildest dream—nailing Sarah Palin on a snowmobile.
Fondest memory—the day a customer first suggested that I "take it out in trade."
Childhood ambition—to brew my own beer.
Perfect day—any day I'm not called out to unplug somebody’s crap-filled toilet at 3:00 a.m.
Proudest moment—saying that Barack Hussein Obama tap danced around questions like he was Sammy Davis Jr.
Pet peeve—women who try to flush sanitary napkins down the toilet.
My future is—gonna see more ass than a toilet seat.
My card is—American Express with overflow protection.
