Home   Ass Hat Awards   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff   Contact
Your Seldom Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
Your sun is in arrears and your moon is in contempt. Ordinarily this would mean that you should be incognito, but these are not ordinary times. The presence of the planet Dipthong in your literary house and the emergence of the Ringo star in your musical constellation point to the need for the bold initiative instead. Remember, the grand gesture is the prelude to grand success. Think large, live large, and-as Lane Bryant is my judge-large will be your shadow on the world's stage.
More Horoscopes
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
Cover of the book Postcards from the Pug Bus.The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
1 2
Free the Music
screw the riaaStrike a blow for freedom.
Download music today.
You can't beat the price.
Get the skinny at Zeropaid.



Humor Feed Banner
 
Yin and Yang Seek Divorce, Citing Irreconcilable Differences
Mar 5, 2009, 09:44
an image
Yin and Yang in happier times, circa 1000 B.C.E.
LAS VEGAS -- Yin and Yang, one of the world's most beloved and recognizable couples, has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split.

"It happens," said the dark-haired Ms. Yin. "After thousands of years couples just grow apart. I'll always love Yang and his bright, active approach to life, but it's time for me to move on."

According to a friend of the couple, the wonder is they didn't split up sooner.

"You can only play that opposites-attract card for so long," said the friend. "In truth, they hadn't completed each other for centuries, and he was getting tired of living in her shadow. Besides, with their child well established on his/her own, there's really no reason for them to stay together."

Despite Yin and Yang's outward appearance of compatibility, their union was often troubled by internal strife. Where Yin is a passive, introverted—some would say weak—individual, Yang is outgoing and strong in his opinions. Where Yin is happy to stay at home with a book and her cat, Yang likes to socialize.

an image
Rare, unretouched photo of Yin and Yang's only known offspring, Happy.
Where Yin sees the glass as half empty and shrinking, Yang sees it as half full and bursting with the potential for growth. Even their temperature preferences are polar opposites. Yin likes to keep their jaijitu (mighty circle) so cold that Yang, who is a real beach lover, constantly wears thick, heavy robes indoors.

The world is a far different place than it was when Yin and Yang first became soul mates. Computers, phone sex, drive-in movies, the Industrial Revolution, indoor plumbing—this venerable couple has seen it all.

"Yeah," laughs their friend, "if eHarmony had been around back in the day, perhaps they would have found more suitable partners."



Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.


top-of-page link  top of page  teensy, tiny image of stamped envelope  e-mail this article  teensy, tiny image of printer  printer friendly page


© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.

 

twitter icon for linking purposes
Follow the Pug Bus
or it will follow you home.

The Fuck It List

image of a thumb down

Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die
1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.