Your sun is in arrears and your moon is in contempt. Ordinarily this would mean that you should be incognito, but these are not ordinary times. The presence of the planet Dipthong in your literary house and the emergence of the Ringo star in your musical constellation point to the need for the bold initiative instead. Remember, the grand gesture is the prelude to grand success. Think large, live large, and-as Lane Bryant is my judge-large will be your shadow on the world's stage.
Yin and Yang Seek Divorce, Citing Irreconcilable Differences
Mar 5, 2009, 09:44
Yin and Yang in happier times, circa 1000 B.C.E.
LAS VEGAS -- Yin and Yang, one of the world's most beloved and recognizable couples, has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split.
"It happens," said the dark-haired Ms. Yin. "After thousands of years couples just grow apart. I'll always love Yang and his bright, active approach to life, but it's time for me to move on."
According to a friend of the couple, the wonder is they didn't split up sooner.
"You can only play that opposites-attract card for so long," said the friend. "In truth, they hadn't completed each other for centuries, and he was getting tired of living in her shadow. Besides, with their child well established on his/her own, there's really no reason for them to stay together."
Despite Yin and Yang's outward appearance of compatibility, their union was often troubled by internal strife. Where Yin is a passive, introverted—some would say weak—individual, Yang is outgoing and strong in his opinions. Where Yin is happy to stay at home with a book and her cat, Yang likes to socialize.
Rare, unretouched photo of Yin and Yang's only known offspring, Happy.
Where Yin sees the glass as half empty and shrinking, Yang sees it as half full and bursting with the potential for growth. Even their temperature preferences are polar opposites. Yin likes to keep their jaijitu (mighty circle) so cold that Yang, who is a real beach lover, constantly wears thick, heavy robes indoors.
The world is a far different place than it was when Yin and Yang first became soul mates. Computers, phone sex, drive-in movies, the Industrial Revolution, indoor plumbing—this venerable couple has seen it all.
"Yeah," laughs their friend, "if eHarmony had been around back in the day, perhaps they would have found more suitable partners."
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Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die 1. Religion
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5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
10. Going to Bed Early.