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Web Founder, Tim Berners-Lee, Finally Admits He Misspelled Worldwide
Mar 15, 2009, 08:28
GENEVA - Tim Berners-Lee, the father of the world wide web, finally has admitted that he misspelling "worldwide" when he created the web twenty years ago.
Mr. Berners-Lee was employed as a junior programmer at a nuclear research center near Geneva, Switzerland, when he wrote a proposal that led eventually to the creation of the world wide web. He told an audience at the twentieth-anniversary party for that proposal on Friday that if he could "re-jigger" anything about the web, the spelling of "worldwide" would be it.
"Obviously I wrote the code for the web at a time when spelling checkers weren't as trustworthy as they are today," said Mr. Berners-Lee.
"I've never been able to spell for shite, myself," he laughed, "and the spelling checker I used wasn't for shite either, so I spelled 'worldwide' as two words instead of one."
Mr. Berners-Lee, a British software engineer who is now a physical education instructor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said that if he had a Euro for every time somebody pointed out his mistake to him, "I'd be a rich bastard today."
Next on Mr. Berners-Lee's list of regrets was his decision to begin web addresses with "http://."
"The double slashes following 'http:' are obviously redundant," he said, "and that has led to billions of wasted keystrokes at who knows what cost to the environment.
"Obviously keyboards weren't as trustworthy when I wrote the code for the web as they are today," said Mr. Berners-Lee, "and even though I could have sworn I hit the forward-slash key only once, it registered two slashes every time instead."
In related news, Mr. Berners-Lee said he was concerned that the world wide web "will become a giant eavesdropping device" that will allow "corrupt institutions like the Recording Industry Association of America" to spy on innocent file-sharing activities, "which is why I created the web in the first place--to allow scientists to exchange music and pictures of their grandkids more easily."
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Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
