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Musicians Admit to Only Pretending to Like Pete Seeger
Mar 3, 2010, 12:38
Dave Matthews, Bruce Springsteen, and a host of musicians who have appeared with folk singer Pete Seeger during the last few years have admitted they were "only pretending to like" the ninety-year-old Seeger and his music.
"At first we were like, who invited the old guy," said one musician who did not wish to be identified. "Then we heard that he used to somebody famous a long time ago, so we tried to make him feel comfortable."
Dave Matthews was not so shy about speaking on the record.
"Did you see what that geezer has printed on his banjo?" laughed Mr. Matthews. "'This machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender.' That [crap] went out of style in the McCarthy Era. The banjo ought to say, 'This machine puts people to sleep.'"
Even Bruce Springsteen, who several years ago recorded thirteen folk songs written or made "popular" by Mr. Seeger, finds him difficult to take for long periods of time.
"Oh, man," said Mr. Springsteen, "does that cat repeat himself or what? If he's told me once, he's told me fifteen times about being blacklisted in the fifties. I know the whole damn story by heart."
Other musicians complained about Mr. Seeger's "old man smell," his bossiness, and his habit of "falling all over" the women with whom he performs.
Mr. Seeger rose to modest prominence as a member of The Weavers, whose cover of Leadbelly's "Goodnight, Irene" topped U.S. pop charts for thirteen weeks in 1950. Since then he has mainly appeared at rallies and demonstrations, where he could always be counted on to lead the faithful in a stirring rendition of "We Shall Overcome."
Mr. Seeger is also the author or co-author of some of the most annoying protest songs ever written—"Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" and "If I Had a Hammer." The latter is so godawful that Joan Baez recently refused to perform it at the White House, even though First Lady Michelle Obama had requested it.
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
