Home   Ass Hat Awards   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff   Contact
Your Almost Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
More Horoscopes
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
Cover of the book Postcards from the Pug Bus.The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
1 2
Free the Music
screw the riaaStrike a blow for freedom.
Download music today.
You can't beat the price.
Get the skinny at Zeropaid.
Humor Feed Banner
 
RIAA Sues Fetus as Accessory to Illegal Downloading
Mar 4, 2010, 10:01
an image
NEW YORK -- The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) has lowered the bar in its war against music piracy. In a surprising legal maneuver the RIAA slapped a four-month-old fetus with a Baby Doe warrant for being an accessory to its mother's illegal downloading of three Trout Fishing in America CDs and several other CDs of children's music.

"We have long maintained that the right to life does not include the right to free music," said RIAA chairman and CEO, Mitch Bainwol. "What's more, where there are rights there are also responsibilities, no matter where you happen to reside."

Baby Doe's mother, Michelle Winters, is a single woman who works in a library in Pocatello, Idaho. She has been given the option of settling with the RIAA for $7,500 or of facing a lawsuit that will seek to recover $25,000 for each of the 31 songs she downloaded.

For her part, Baby Doe can settle with the RIAA for $3,500 before she reaches her third birthday or face a lawsuit that will seek to recover $10,000 for each of the 31 songs her mother downloaded.

The Baby Doe lawsuit, in addition to marking the first time the RIAA has sued the unborn, is also unique because heretofore the watchdog association had been rumored not to bother persons who had fewer than one hundred songs in the share folders on their hard drives.

"Those days are history," said Mr. Bainwol. "Just because a person has fewer than one hundred songs in her share folder does not mean she has no other illegally obtained songs on her computer—or that she didn't download scores of other songs that she listened to and then erased."

Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.

top-of-page link  top of page  teensy, tiny image of stamped envelope  e-mail this article  teensy, tiny image of printer  printer friendly page

© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.

 
twitter icon for linking purposes
Follow the Pug Bus
or it will follow you home.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Joe Paterno image

Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.